Page 130 of Wildflower
Staring up at the ceiling, I realise now that I’m quite hungry. Xander managed to force some toast in me at some point over the last few days, but my stomach is proper rumbling now.
I shuffle down the stairs to find something to eat.
Everything is so quiet. Xander must be at work. I peek out the window of the kitchen. No one’s there. Apparently, the press was outside all week, but I’ve not moved from my room, so I haven’t had to deal with them. Poor Xander. He says no one at his work gives a shit, so he’s fine, and I hope it’s true.
I pull my pyjama bottoms up from low on my hips. Huh, these used to be on the tighter side.
The display on the smart thermostat in the hallway says it’s Tuesday. I’ve been out of it for a week and a day. Beanie trots over to me. It’s as if he’s tentative with me, just like Xander. Maybe he can sense the sadness.
Boof.
“You’re right, Beanie. I need to eat. Let’s get some butter, shall we?”
He pants happily and shuffles over to his bowl that’s already full.
“What am I supposed to do now, Beanie?”
I’m back to square one. Worse, actually, at least I had my K-Models job at square one. Now, I’ll probably be unemployable by another modelling agency until the internet has forgotten.
Fuck. I squeeze my eyes shut, holding back the burning tears again. Beanie huffs from below, and I blink my eyes open.
He looks up at me from his food and snorts before he turns his attention back to his breakfast. Or lunch. I’m not sure.
The clock on the wall above me suggests it’s more like a late lunch.
I stand here for a minute, staring out the window. Trying not to think about Mark. Willing my brain to be blank.
The coffee machine catches my eye, so I busy myself with making a cup even though I don’t want to drink it. The black liquid trickles into the mug, and I stare at it without really looking at it.
I need to get out of the house.
Beanie is happy to be strapped into his harness, knowing we’re going out. I find my biggest sunglasses and borrow one of Xander’s massive hoodies to hide in. It doesn’t matter who’s out there, but I don’t want them to see my puffy eyes and grey skin.
I’ve not looked at my phone since Nia’s message late last Monday (D-Day), and I brave it while walking through Victoria Park with Beanie and his cute turkey butt wagging in front of me. He sniffs along the path, and I open the messageapp.
There are messages from numbers I don’t know. I ignore them all.
Disappointingly, there’s nothing from Mark, but I didn’t really think he would be in touch after breaking it off. I shake the train of thought away immediately and continue down the list.
Biting down, not sure what to expect, I open the thread with Dad.
My darling daughter please call, Xander told me everything
Rey, I am outraged with your mother, please know that I wholeheartedly disagree with everything Xander told me she said. You are my gem. I’m sorry I haven’t told you this. There is no excuse. I’ve been blind. I didn’t know your mother treated you like this all these years. I feel terrible and I hope you will forgive me. You truly are magnificent and I don’t want you to change.
I decide to answer him right away although I can hardly see the screen through the tears flooding my eyes. This is the most emotion he’s shared with me, and I’ll not take it for granted.
Hi Dad, sorry, I’ve not been on my phone. Your words mean the world to me. Thank you. I love you so much. I’ll call you later, okay?
Don’t worry about me, I’m glad you’re texting now
Is it as bad as Mum said? The family?
Not for me. I don’t know what your aunts are saying, though. You know how they are. Don’t think about it. I’ll come for dinner this weekend, okay?
Ok
Next, I open the group message with Kaia, Tolu, and Noor, the feeling of dread not as strong after my dad’s words of encouragement.
