Page 29 of Wildflower
I grit my teeth, pushing down the anger rapidly rising. I’m being blindsided at my own fucking meeting.
If I didn’t feel my position was already under threat, I’d share with them all exactly what I think of this little stunt. I glance at my friend, Sebastian, whose dark eyes are wide. He didn’t know either?
“Over the last three months, we’ve had HR members and independent contractors review your leadership style in the absence of Damian.”
I narrow my eyes at her, waiting for her to continue.
“We were pleased with the investigation the police conducted, showing you had no involvement with or knowledge of Damian’s actions right under your nose. But we wanted to make sure we’re on the right track with you as the new CEO of the company.
“The report concludes that the staff feel safe with you as their leader,” she continues. “They confirm you keep a professional distance and only when called upon do you interact with the lower levels. This has doubtless been the right approach at this stage.”
She clears her throat again. Will someone offer her a fucking lozenge already?
“However, they’re scared of you. Your demeanour is strict, and you come across as highly demanding, bordering on unapproachable.”
“That’s probably an accurate assessment,” I say, leaning back in my chair. I don’t want people to approach me.
“Shall we try to find a middle ground between scaring the staff and fondling them?”
“Fondling?” I straighten up. “Damian was manipulative and toxic. He was downright dangerous to the staff’s wellbeing in more ways than one. Are we reallydownplaying this?” I bristle. “I know you all worshipped the ground he stood on, and we all mourn losing the creative genius, but I willnotaccept the board belittling his egregious actions against eight of our younger staff. Call a spade a spade; the man was an exploitative predator and bully.”
Hana nods once, holding eye-contact, while a murmur of ‘hear, hear’ breaks out.
I swallow hard, surprised at the emotion rising in me during that little outburst. There’s this pressure under my lungs. Making it hard to take a proper breath. Damian didn’t just hurt a number of our employees.
He hurtme.
He was one of my closest friends. Now he’s dead to me. The way he manipulated our employees, using the CEO role to his advantage. And he hid it so well. Or I didn’t notice. When did it even start?
Hana returns to her tablet. “The consultants recommended you become more involved in the creative department, where we’ve had the highest talent drain.”
“You seriously think my presence will help?”
“Yes, and become more approachable. Statistics show that people who feel visible will have higher engagement. The suggestion is that you move down from your tower suite into the midst of the daily ops and show people you’re involved.”
“I’m involved in everything. I live and breathe this place.”
“So let them see. And smile a little, will you? It said in the report that you’re a bit of a grouch.”
I bark out a laugh and receive a wide-eyed stare from Hana in return.
“There you go, your face-muscles work,” she says. “Use them.”
I return to my office as I always do after a board meeting.
In my calm, familiar space, I can think clearly.
I press the thick door shut, giving it the extra push it always needs, and switch on the recording on my notes app and start my ritual of walking back and forth, going over the meeting. Not the content, but what I recall of the board members’ comments and reactions. What the hell do I make of their reception of the report? Are the consultants right?
After today’s session, it seems I have one priority: become more visible.
Make that two priorities... Hana is not direct, but she’s clear. What she said was not a big fancy ‘thank you’.
It was a threat: only good news. Or else.
But I’m not Damian. I’m not selfish like him.
Although today I was distracted. I need to be careful so they don’t lose faith in me. It’s the worst time to have my world shaken by a force of beautiful nature.
