Page 73 of Fox and Nitro
“Mom, I don’t think they’re my boyfriends,” I say, not even bothering to eat even though the delicious scent is wafting this way.
“Oh yes, that’s right, they’re your Ol Men. I’ll get used to the language soon enough,” she smiles, patting my leg gently.
“No, you don’t have to. I don’t think it’s going to work out. They’re sweet, and caring and they understand me in a way no one else ever has but when push came to shove they excluded me because I was sic- Ow!” I screech as Mom’s gentle leg patting gets increasingly heavy handed. “What’s that for?”
“You are beingestúpida!” Mom pinches the bridge of her nose before taking a deep breath and letting it out. “Baby, Iknowhow hard lupus is for you. I see the load you carry and my heart breaks that you feel isolated and trapped. But for those weeks you were with Fox and Nitro you flourished,mija. You have had a smile and your burdens have been so light not even you have noticed them.” I sniffle and fiddle with my stupid sore fingers, not wanting to look up because she’s right. “When Fox and Nitro sent you home with us they were right to do so. You were tired. You were in pain. You were being stubborn. And you still are.” Mom cups my cheek, making me look at her, her warm, brown face, her dark eyes a different brown from Zane and Hayden’s, but like theirs, full of love.
I open my mouth to protest but nothing comes out. She’s right. I was sore and tired and I was pushing myself to join in because that’s what I do. I want to be included. I want to belong and have friends and family and … my Ol Men.
“Jasmine,” my father’s deep voice says from his place beside my mother. “Those boys have been losing their minds the past two days. They’ve been blowing up mine and your mother’s phones, been knocking on our door all hours of the day and evening. Theyloveyou, sweetheart, they wantyou,and everything that makes you you. Your lupus, your temper, all thathair of yours that clogs up my drains,” a wet chuckle bursts out of me before I sniff and wipe my eyes. “Trust them, and trust what I’m telling you. They want your good days and bad, Jazz, because they wantyou.”
“They want me,” I whisper, realizing what a grade A douche canoe I’ve been.
“They want you,” Mom repeats. “I raised you all to be strong and independent, and you Jasmine are the epitome of that. But sometimes being strong means letting someone else take the weight. Let them.”
“Yes,” Dad agrees. “Soon please because the little notifications on my phone are driving me crazy.”
I laugh at Dad before shooing both him and Mom out. If I’m going to grovel to my two men about completely overreacting then I need to look good. And not like I’ve been crying in my bed wearing Whore-ily Clinton’s maternity pants. Which, as Lily states, are top of the range comfy.
In twenty minutes I’m dressed in real, non pregnant people pants, my face is as depuffed as I can get it, and I’m pulling into the clubhouse. It’s the weekend so everyone is here, and yet there isn’t the usual hustle and bustle that there usually is.
Stepping up onto the porch my brows pull in when I see the front door closed. Knocking lightly I wait for the door to open, figuring it won’t take long as the sound of running feet sounds out on the other side.
It cracks open slightly and I’m met with Elio, Cove, Jovie and Joy’s little girl. Who all stare at me like they’ve seen a ghost.
“Hi kids, are Fox and Nitro home?”
They continue to stare before Cove pastes a big smile on her face then drags Jovie and Joy’s girl behind her. I peer over their shoulders but don’t see anyone so I turn my gaze to Elio. Before I can say anything he surprises me.
“Are you hurt?” He points to the yellowing bruise that Hitchens guy gave me when he backhanded me.
“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I’m tough, don’t you know,” I smile wide, holding up my hands in a boxer’s stance.
He stares at me with his dark eyes, almost like he’s looking into my soul. “Not everyone has to be tough. Some people need to be soft. You’re soft. That’s why Fox and Nitro love you. Be that.” With that he closes the door in my face and my heart both breaks and somehow swells at the same time.
Heavy footsteps thunder behind the door before it’s flung open and there, in the doorway are my men. Before I can say anything my stomach drops, taking my knees with it as I burst into tears and snotty “I’m sorries”.
“Hey, hey sweetheart, it’s OK, you’re here and we’ve got you,” Hayden soothes as his and Zane’s arms come around me, stopping me from hitting the floor.
“We’re so sorry, baby, so sorry. We almost lost you by being fucking dumb cavemen. We just wanted you to be safe and looked after and I’m sorry,” Zane says, his voice sounding watery as he mumbles into my shoulder, Hayden’s apologies spoken into my other shoulder.
I cling to them, soaking up their warmth, their touch, their love.
“What the hell? Ugh, it’s not even the pizza man.” I stiffen at the sound of that voice still drifting down the hall. “False alarm, it’s just Miss Jasmine. This guy better not be blowing smoke…”
Pulling back I look at Zane and Hayden who look very sheepish.
“Why is Rodney here?”
Zane rubs the back of his neck, looking at Hayden to explain. “Well, ah -”
“I told you we shouldn’t trust them. My mom says-”
“Jackson?” I call out down the hall and it all goes silent save for some soft murmurs here and there.
“What is happening?” I ask, my face screwed up as I look between my men.
Hayden sighs before taking my hand and pulling me into the hall, Zane’s large warm hand at the lower back. They lead me into the common room where I stop in my tracks when everyone, and I meaneveryonestarts to hurriedly stuff costumes behind the couches or in Tank’s case, up his Henley.
