Page 43 of Cabins Cows Critics
“Why are you in my garden?” Sally-May asks the second I’m through the door. I should have guessed she’d be in here collecting a few things for dinner tonight.
“I wanted to grab some of the mint for the mini barn,” I say, heading for the pots by the back wall. Wild mint tends to go dormant in the colder months, but in the warmth of the greenhouse, it’s stayed pretty vibrant.
“You’re going to hang it in there?” she asks.
“I thought I’d crush it and put it in the bottom of the lanterns, actually,” I say, and she nods.
“Clever. The warmth from the lamps will help warm the oils in the leaves and make the scent even stronger.”
“Exactly.”
I cut a fistful of wild mint stems and bundle them together to carry down to the barn.
“They held the funeral today,” she says, and I freeze halfway through tying a knot around the second bundle. “For who?”
“You know who I mean.”
My heart is in my throat. Fuck, she knows.
I play scenario after scenario through my mind. Most end with me leaving Beaker Brothers, and it makes my heart hurt to even think of it, but I’m not seeing many other options.
A hand rests against my shoulder, and I turn to find her soft smile.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” she says.
“It’s not…”
“No one knows,” she says next, answering one of the many questions I have rolling around in my head.
“Then how?”
She reaches up, resting her palm against my short beard.
“This isn’t a comic book, Hun. You would have to grow a full mountain man beard to hide that sweet face.”
“I tried. Most of it stops growing at about three inches, and it gets all patchy and looks shit. Remember last winter,” I say, and she chuckles.
“Ohhh, yes, well, this does look nicer.”
“Thanks. Are you sure the others don’t know?”
She nods.
“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the men of Beaker Brothers aren’t the most observant. Skye changed his hair to pink a good week before Perry and Dean realized.”
“In their defense, Skye does change it every six weeks or so.”
“He could shave his head, and they’d still need prompting. It’s okay, they’ve got enough on their minds with the work out here that what a fella looks like isn’t high on their radar.”
“What about who a fella really is?”
“I think you know this ranch is a home to whoever needs it, and that applies to you, too, no matter who your family is. You know that, don’t you?”
“They weren’t my family,” I reply, turning back to bundle the mint.
“They were once,” she replies, but when I turn to tell her that it doesn’t matter what they were, only what they are, she’s already walking away. She’s not wrong, and I hate that. My grandfather and cousin were family, and as much as they didn’twant to be in my life, I was equally good at not being in theirs, but since I heard about their deaths, it’s almost all I can think about. The only time I haven’t thought about the family I left behind in the last few days has been when I was with Hayden.
Seeing the excitement in his eyes when he talks about his book, and the calm that comes after we’ve been together, is like nothing I’ve had with anyone. He’ll be leaving soon, though, and I should protect my heart from grabbing onto him too tight, except it’s like there is a lasso from my chest to him, reining him in, my whole body holding on for dear life to this feeling of connection, of peace.
