Page 13 of Same Difference
She inhaled raggedly and gave him a wave and then forced herself to turn around and finish the trek to his truck.
“Let me,” he said, appearing beside her. He pulled her bag out of the back of his truck, but she took it from his hands.
“I’ve got it.” She swallowed hard and tried to smile at him. “I’ve got this,” she said with more conviction.
Nate licked his lips and parted them like he wanted to say something more but didn’t. She was glad. She wanted the goodbye to be done. She wanted him to leave so she could fall apart because that felt detrimental right now. The drive here had been eternal and had drained her emotionally.
She would have to break into pieces in order to glue her life back together. God, she hoped it would be better. She hoped she could do this. She hoped she could find something good at the end of all this mess.
She had really liked him. Delta had truly and deeply cared for him and made future plans. Imagined her babies with his eye color. She’d been happy in the slow build, but it hadn’t been the same for him, and now the continuation of that life had been snapped in half like a twig.
She shouldered the heavy duffel bag, squared her shoulders, and made her way past the others with a small wave, and yet another forced smile. Nory was still rustling around in Liam’s truck, and she was thankful. She wanted a little time alone, even if it was just a couple of minutes.
That trip here in the silence of Nate’s truck had been torture.
She wanted to look back at him, and see if he was still watching, but what would that do for her? He didn’t want her. Maybe they could salvage a friendship out of their relationship.
Some Arrangements just didn’t work. She hadn’t ever thought it would be hers, but it had failed in record time. Two months. It was embarrassing but it couldn’t be helped.
She really didn’t want to be with a man who didn’t want her back.
She needed to belong somewhere, but it wasn’t with him.
Chapter Four
Nate released the handle of his duffel bag and let it thud to the floor of the hotel.
It felt different in this one. This room was nicer than the cheap motels they’d been staying in on the road, but it was empty.
A hollowness filled him as he sank down onto the bed. With Delta, he would check them into a hotel room and then immediately make an excuse for space. He would say he needed to get some ice, or to visit the vending machine. A few times, he’d made his way to the restaurant and ate alone. He would go back to the hotel room, and Delta would be quiet, and get ready for bed early, and she would sleep on the other bed, scrolling on her phone until her breathing steadied out. They didn’t talk much, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. She was just quiet. He had preferred it, but now?
Another wave of guilt washed over him. What if he had asked her to go to the hotel restaurants with him instead of just bringing food back for her?
Today, she had been articulate with her needs and with the goodbye. She’d spoken more in bursts today than she had while they’d been together. He’d seen fire in her eyes and he’d seen heartache, and he couldn’t get over this feeling that there were more layers to Delta than he’d realized.
The way she’d said that goodbye…
With her broken heart in her eyes, she’d tried to smile and be kind and told him about the things she liked when they were together, instead of reaming him on the way out.
It made it harder. He wished she had yelled at him. He wished she had cussed him out or thrown something at him so he could get pissed off and look back on her with contempt.
But he didn’t. He respected her instead.
She’d been hurt that he’d told her old Pack they hadn’t consummated their Arrangement, but honestly, he hadn’t even given it a thought. It was just a fact. It was what it was. He hadn’t wanted her in that way, and it had been clear she hadn’t wanted him in that way either. They hadn’t gotten there. They’d settled into separate sleeping spaces and friendship. She hadn’t been interested and that had been a turn-off for him.
Fuck, he needed to figure himself out.
She’d given him the out he’d wanted. She’d done the hard thing and had the conversation and as he’d watched her walk back toward that shack today, her shoulders back and chin lifted high, she’d never looked prettier.
She was real now.
What was wrong with him?
Nate hung his head and cracked his knuckles, stared at the blue and burgundy pattern in the carpet and wished things were different. He wished he was different.
Delta was one of those rare female werewolves a man kept, and he’d fucked it all up.
She’d cut him loose, and he was supposed to feel relieved, but he felt sad instead.
