Page 25 of Same Difference
A roar took his ears, and he screamed and slammed his palm against the steering wheel over and over until his hand throbbed.
The car behind him at the light honked and he wanted to get out and throttle him.
That wouldn’t help anything though.
He had no one to blame but himself.
He’d really tried to give her back to her ex.
He’d really done that.
The numbness had worn off, and he was able to feel it. He’d talked to her ex and her dad for a week, moving her to the meeting place, and didn’t even tell her.
He had just planned on setting her free, like some wild bear out of captivity, but she wasn’t. She’d chosen him!
She’d chosen him and he’d thrown her away.
And now the Pack was meeting without him, asking him to stay away, pushing him to the outside and he fucking deserved it. He deserved it!
He pulled over into an empty parking lot and wrapped his arms around his middle and rested his forehead against the steering wheel. His skin was burning with the urge to Change, but he couldn’t. “Not here,” he whispered raggedly.
Losing his mind, he picked up his phone and wrote in his diary. He’d texted Delta a half a dozen times today, and none of his messages went through, so he was the only one who was able to see his thoughts typed in here. He was blocked and probably always would be, but it was nice to feel like he could message her. He could put his thoughts out there, directed at her, and even though she would never see them, they felt like a lifeline.
I should’ve kissed you,he typed out.Send.
He tossed the phone to the floor and slammed his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. This felt awful. She was gone. They were no longer paired. She’d filled out the paperwork to dissolve their Arrangement as fast as she possibly could, and had it pushed through.
It felt too easy. It hurt.
There was no getting what they were back and she’ d never even known him. Not really. He’d never settled into his own skin around her, and she hadn’t settled into hers around him.
He was angry that she had dissolved their Arrangement so quickly, but he also understood he deserved it. It was exactly what he had asked for.
Chapter Eight
Delta couldn’t get it out of her head—the way Nate had looked when Nory had told him not to come out with the Pack tonight.
She and Nory had arrived at the bar first and were joined within half an hour by everyone but Nate. Yeah, she knew this was the easiest way to do things for her, but for the twentieth time, she looked at the text he’d sent her earlier.
I should’ve kissed you.
She’d unblocked him in a moment of weakness after she’d seen the hurt on his face when Nory had told him to stay away, and he’d texted within ten minutes.
I should’ve kissed you.
How did she even respond to that? She’d fantasized about him kissing her. She had hoped for it day after day. Any time he passed too close to her in the hallway, she’d wished he would pin her against the wall. Any time he had come to see her at her garden, she’d wished he would lay her down right there.
Nate just hadn’t felt that way about her.
He hadn’t been attracted to her physically or emotionally. That much was painfully clear, so why now? Why would he text this?
She’d had a margarita, just trying to numb her racing thoughts down, and now she was tipsy and feeling waves of anger, and annoying hope.
Stupid boy. All they did was play with girls’ minds, just like Decker had done.
“You’re being boring,” Tabian said over the sound of the music.
The others were playing darts and seemed to be in the best moods, and she got it. They were all newly back together with the promise of forming a Rogue Pack, and everyone was figuring out what housing they wanted, and she was in limbo with how the rest of her life would go. She was kind of dragging the mood down.
