Page 7 of Same Difference
Nate parked to the side of a gas station, in the shadows so he could pull some clothes on. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.
“Because you never asked,” she said softly. Fuck, he couldn’t look in her eyes. There was so much hurt there. “You never asked me anything. You threw me away before you gave a shit.”
Nate shook his head. “That’s not…” He gripped the shirt to his middle tighter. It was soaked through. “You have a good Pack—”
“I chose you—”
“But then the Elders came after us! I can’t give you anything, Delta.”
She was staring at him. He could see it in his peripheral, but all he could do was stare at a blue dumpster in front of the truck and grip the wheel in a stranglehold with his free hand, like that would make the pain ease up.
“What is it that you think I need?” she asked.
“A Pack,” he gritted out. “A house, a kitchen, a garden. A car.”
She huffed a sound, but he couldn’t tell what it meant. “Wrong.”
“Well, what is it? We both came into this Arrangement with a clean slate. Tell me what you need. We’re going back to Coeur d’Alene. You get what you want. You can have the life you want. I’m making the sacrifice. No harm, no foul. You didn’t go back toDecker. You’re here, with me, and I’m still responsible for you. So, tell me. What is it you need?”
“Remember that day we met Nory, and she was teaching me how to cook?”
“Yeah. You needed a friend. I said yes.”
“No, Nate. You came into the kitchen after weeks of confusion on my part, and you put your fingertips on my waist, and you kissed my cheek.”
Nate didn’t understand. He didn’t know why she was bringing that up. Yeah, he’d been filled with a feeling and acted on it. He’d kissed her on the cheek. So? That didn’t answer his question. What did she need from him?
Delta dashed her knuckles across her cheeks and then pushed open her door. “I need a break. I’ll be back soon.”
Before she shut her door, he asked, “Just tell me what you want from me?”
Delta straightened her spine and lifted her chin higher into the air. Her brown curls had fallen limply over the day, and her green eyes had lost their glow. Her make-up was smeared under her eyes, and it was the first time he’d ever witnessed her gaze completely empty. “I’ll never want anything from you ever again.”
Truth.
She shut the door gently, and that was the worst part. Maybe he’d done her wrong by not giving her a heads up that he was taking her back to her Pack. He’d had his reasons though. She would’ve talked him out of it, and he’d had a plan. The quiet closing of the door seemed so symbolic though. She was closing her heart off without the theatrics. No drama like with his exes. No screaming and throwing shit on the way out. No hurting him with words and name-calling, so he could feel better about their split.
The quiet shut-down hurt worse than anything he’d ever felt.
She wasn’t like the others. Maybe it was because she was submissive and couldn’t hang with a volatile argument, or maybe she was uncomfortable under the weight of his dominance right now. Perhaps she was bad at conflict. Or maybe it was just Delta being Delta. He didn’t know. He didn’t know her very well.
He blew out a long breath as he watched her hug her arms around her middle and hunch into the wind as she made her way into the gas station. He watched her until the door swung closed behind her.
Nate closed his eyes and wished for the same thing he’d been wishing since the Elders had dissolved the Pack—he wished he had never dragged Delta into this mess.
Decker.
He’d approached Delta aggressively, like he would yell in her face, and Nate could tell by Delta’s reaction it had happened before. She froze and closed her eyes, and waited, but Nate had already been in motion.
She might not have been the mate of his heart, but she did deserve protection.
Fuck, what was wrong with him? He felt so sick inside right now.
She was stuck with him now. She’d said no to Decker twice now. She was choosing to be a Rogue in a Rogue Pack, and it would never make sense to Nate. Not ever. Being a Rogue was shameful.
He’d visited her old Pack. It had been a huge compound. His childhood friend was in the Pack, and he’d been visiting him when he’d seen Delta for the first time.
She was one of those quiet women. Pretty, but she wouldn’t command a room. Pliable. Easy. That’s what he’d needed afterhis last break-up. He didn’t want to date anymore, or allow a woman to have power over him, and the way to do that was with a quiet submissive she-wolf in an Arrangement situation. He didn’t want to fall for anyone. He wanted easy. He wanted pliable. He wanted companionship without going too deep or getting too vulnerable. He’d wanted a friend who was in it with him, but as the Pack had fallen apart, he’d realized he and Delta didn’t have enough glue to keep them together. Not really.
