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“You have, and I didn’t want to cause you further distress. But Stella, she’s…” I trail off, not knowing the words to describe exactly what she means to me.
“Then why aren’t you together? Why didn’t you come out and tell me? I thought we told each other everything?” Nessa asks as she pushes food around her plate, not eating anything. I take a big bite of what’s on mine, some kind of cheese and beef thing.
Goddamn that’s good.
“She didn’t want a relationship. Doesn’t want one,” I correct. “We were enjoying ourselves and agreed that it would be exclusive yet casual. We said it would end when she finally went travelling or when I was forced into the family company. Couldn’t last long enough to make each other miserable.”
“That’s a recipe for disaster,” she snorts. She’s got me there.
“Yeah. Doomed to fail, right?” I take a swallow of the wine. For something so expensive it’s pretty rank. Nessa swirls hers around in her glass, still having yet to take a sip. “Don’t drinkthis,” I warn her. “I think it was free for a reason.” She takes a hesitant sniff before grimacing and pushing the glass away from her, switching to her ice water.
“Why didn’t you come right out and tell me? Why did you lie and sneak around?” Nessa prods.
“It didn’t seem worth it. It would have been a fight to try and get you on board with it, and considering we weren’t expecting it to last, we didn’t think it needed to be brought up. We could keep it quiet, enjoy it, and then, when it was over, move on with our lives.” It sounds so stupid when you put it like that.
“And then you fell in love with her?” she guesses.
“No, I didn’t fall in love with her,” I protest.
“Then what happened?”
“We became friends. She’s cool to hang out with. Smart. Really fucking funny,” my lips twitch up at the corners. Even thinking about her makes me smile. It’s a reflex.
“You fell in love with her.” Nessa stares at me like I’m a toddler who hasn’t figured out what mirrors are yet.
“I’m not in love with her—"
“Yes you are! I can see it on your face.” She’s laughing loudly at me now.
“Fuck off, Nessa. It’s over now anyway. It doesn’t matter,” I grumble.
“Wait, why would it be over already? You are inlovewith her—don’t deny it—and I know her. She obviously feels the same way.”
“You think so?” I perk up a bit.
“Holy shit, you’re so deep in it. Yes, she does. So why did things die out? What did she do?”
“That might be my fault. Or Mom’s fault. I don’t know. She didn’t do anything. It all got so fucked up so quickly.” I give her the short version of everything that went down, from Mom’s threats and bribes to the band kicking me out, to the fight we hadat her apartment that ended in a screaming match. Nessa listens calmly, not interrupting, which was odd, and nodding along as I explain it all to her. Once all is said and done, I’m catching my breath.
“Okay, right now, I’m the big sister, got it? I’m going to advise you like you would me.” She says it sternly, staring me down until I find myself nodding along with her.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” She looks at me blandly across the food. Our waiter, who has the worst possible timing, chooses that moment to drop off the rest of our food.
“Just a heads up folks, the show will be starting soon! Please turn off your phones and enjoy” A burning glare from me sends him on his way.
“She would never do something like that on purpose, you know.” Nessa may have a point. I may have jumped the gun a little.
“I’m starting to realize that.”
“Besides, you don’t want to work for Mom and Dad anyway, so it’s not like you have anything to lose.”
“That’s not entirely true, Nessa. You don’t know everything that’s happened, that I agreed to. I can’t cut them out all because they want a different future for me. It might not be as bad as I’m dreading.” I chew on the steak in front of me without tasting it. I’m lost in my own thoughts.
“You can cut them out. I promise it’s not that bad. What’re they going to do, sue you?”
“Nessa, you’re talking about something you don’t have all the information about. I’m asking you to drop it.”
“Why though? Come on, James, it’s not like they’ll miss us.”
