Page 22 of To Go
It’s not as though he can hear my thoughts but my face has to be the colour of a ketchup bottle now based on the way it’s burning and I can only blame so much on the wind, so I make my way to the bathroom before I turn around.
“Why were you out there just now?” I turn to look at James through the open floor plan to the kitchen. He’s at the island emptying the bags from earlier, inspecting dented tins and a smushed loaf of bread, which he holds up for me.
“Groceries.”
“You’re a lot more talkative when you think you’re going to get some,” I snap. I’m exhausted and irritated at his abrasiveness. He glares at me.
“You made me break my eggs.”
“Oh. Well, that’s fair then.” Guilt traps my tongue from sassing him. I never meant to make someone rescue me.
“You hungry?”
“I could eat,” I reply, unsure of what to do with myself. Neither of us seem comfortable with me in his space.
It beats freezing to death.
I duck into the bathroom and whip out my phone to call Hazel
“Stella! Are you alright?”
“Hazel, breathe, I’m fine! All ten toes are still attached. No need to send out a search party.” I would mock her for her panic if it wasn’t so sweet how deeply she cares about me.
“Oh thank goodness! Did you make it to the apartment building at least? I’m so sorry, I would have never sent you there if I knew Maria wasn’t home!”
“It worked out fine.” I wrack my brain, trying to come up with a way to tell her where I am. I pinch my eyes shut like it will protect me from the onslaught of questions I’m bringing down on myself. “Um, I’m actually staying with James.” She stays silent for a beat.
“James? Like, Nessa’s brother, James?” She sounds about as shocked as I expected.
“That’s the one. I guess he lives in the same building. He saw me walking in and offered to let me stay when we realized she wasn’t home.” It’s an abbreviation, and I haven’t technically been invited to stay, but I’m doubtful that he’ll throw me out into the streets.
“Oh…” I can hear her pondering this new information, rolling it around in her brain. “Weird. I didn’t know you two were friends.” I let the statement hang between us. “Either way, I’m relieved that you’re safe. You will let me know if you need us to come get you though. You are more than welcome to stay with us if it comes to it.” It’s less of a request than a demand.
“Yes, Mom.”
“And I’ll check in with you tomorrow! I demand signs of life from you missy.”
“You’ll get them. Stay warm.” I hang up the phone in relief. It’s very sweet of her to check in on my wellbeing, but I’m somewhat thankful I didn’t stay with them. Hazel and Beck are the best, but they’re very lovey dovey and they can make it very awkward to be the third wheel.
When I reemerge, there’s a cup of hot chocolate on the island and the smell of pizza in the oven. James doesn’t acknowledge me, still tidying up, so I decide not to bother him. I grab the drink and settle onto one end of the couch, meditating on the soothing swirl of snow outside. The clothes he gave me are soft and worn, clearly well loved. There was a thick pair of socks in there too, so I’m entirely bundled, feeling slowly creeping into all my frozen extremities again.
The couch cushions shift as James sits down on the opposite side, his own hot chocolate and his ever-present notebook. He doodles quietly for a bit, letting the calm settle around us like a warm blanket.
“It’s gorgeous outside,” I comment, allowing the heat of my drink to sink into my bones as I hold it close. James looks at me like I’ve absolutely lost the plot. “It is! It’s not nice to walk in, but it’s so beautiful. I could stare at it for hours. And when it’s all done, there’s going to be a fresh blanket of snow, and it’ll be so quiet, so peaceful.” I look over at him, and his expression has gone from incredulous to endearing. He huffs out a single laugh without really responding, turning his attention to his drawing.
I sit in the silence for a while, enjoying the view of the chaos outside.
“Thanks again for saving me,” I say in a small voice.
“Of course, sunshine,” he says without looking up. The nickname swirls around me, stirring up emotions I’ve been pushing down sincethat night. He’s just helping out his sister’s friend, nothing more. The oven dings and he lurches up, shuffling around the kitchen before returning with a steaming pizza and two beers.
“You look like you could use one,” he says, passing me one with a smirk. I take it gratefully, cracking the top and taking a big gulp. I could definitely use one after the day I’ve had, and it’s barely noon.
“I like your place,” I offer lamely. I’m usually good at shooting the breeze with people, making friends easily. I’m the quintessential extrovert, but I’m floundering here. Unfortunately, there’s no guide on “how to do small talk with the cute guy who’s had his tongue in your mouth but is actually your friend’s older brother so there can’t be anything between you two, but you definitely think dirty, dirty things about him.”
“Thanks. I just moved in. It’s not finished yet.”
“Oh? I assumed minimalism was your thing.” I give him my best innocent face.
