Page 32 of To Go
Almost.
“James,” I say, my voice breathy and wanton.
“What do you want, sunshine?” he rumbles into my ear, nipping at the lobe and making me shiver.
“I want you.” I can hardly form a cohesive thought, every part of my attention is on him. There’s nothing else. Only him.
“Ah, ah, sunshine, tell meexactlywhat you want and maybe I’ll give it to you,” he says as he presses himself further into the cradle of my hips.
“I want to have sex,” I gasp.
He jerks to a stop. Pulls away, looking down at me, his tight grip paralyzed by my statement. All the building heat between us has leeched from his demeanor.
Without a word he unwraps himself from my legs and walks away.
Ouch.
“You know, a simple no would have been fine,” I say crisply. My heart lurches painfully. I thought we’d had some tension building, and the way he makes me want him… But he doesn’t see me that way. He sees me as his little sister’s barely-legal friend. Or maybe he’s not that attracted to me.
I grab the throw blanket again, wrapping myself in flannel and shame while he does something in the kitchen. Embarrassment burns my insides, eating up the joy of the day. It was so stupid of me to ask. It was stupid to hope that he wouldn’t turn me away.
I take some calming breaths, not allowing the angry tears to fall while I compose myself. I hear him sit at the table, so I can tell he’s not coming back. I wish I could leave and hide, but with the wind howling so hard the window panes rattle, I know I have no other options. I have to suck it up and fix this so we can at least be in the same room together.
I pull on my big girl pants, as Hazel would say, and walk over to the kitchen where he’s frowning so hard at a can of beer that it might actually implode.
“I’m sorry,” I squeak out, my voice cracking slightly at the end.
“It’s fine,” he says, still not looking at me.
“No, it’s not. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in your own home. I shouldn’t have said that, and I want to apologize. Can we forget it happened?”
“You want me to forget you asking me to fuck you? To be your first?” His eyes are blazing when they turn to me.
“Yes. I’m sorry I asked for something I knew you didn’t want to give me. It was unfair.”
He scoffs at that. “We can’t date, sunshine.” His eyebrows pull together as he examines me.
“I never said I wanted to date you.” I retort, indignant. “I said I wanted to sleep with you.”
“I’m sorry, repeat that?”
I do, rattling back what I just said.
“Let me get this straight. You want me to fuck you so that when you eventually travel, if you meet some guy you like, you won’t be a virgin and it’ll be less awkward?”
“Uhh… yeah?” It sounds so much worse when you put it that way.
“I’m supposed to be your fucking training wheels. Goddammit.”
“You make it sound so… careless!”
“It is, Stella! This is a recipe for disaster.”
“It’s not, I’ve thought this through. I don’t want to date, I find you attractive. That’s all there is to it.”
“Oh yeah? That seems unlikely.” He stands up and stalks towards me, backing me into the wall, trapping me with his solid frame. I meet his gaze, refusing to stand down, startled at the unfamiliar flutter that stirs in my belly as his pupils bloom. “Isee those innocent blue eyes, sunshine. And they spell nothing but trouble. They’re begging me to take what I want. To stuff you full until I’m imprinted in you the way you are in me.” He cups my mound, pressing dully into my clit, only enough to tease. I try to move closer, but I’m held still when his fingers grip firmly around my waist.
He leans close to purr into my ear. “I also see how sweet you are. How you’d want to wake up in my bed and let me take you over and over again. How I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you. How I would give you more and more until you couldn’t take it.” A shiver rolls through me, and I arch into him as his breath caresses my neck. “And I would keep you. Those eyes would keep me giving you anything you wanted, bowing at your altar. I would submit to every craving of yours, every whim. You’d have me coming back for more each time. You can see it, right?”
