Page 83 of To Go
“Somehow, though, it was like no matter how much he paid off, the debt just kept getting bigger, so he was always taking on more shifts. I’m pretty sure he spent all of his time between me and work. Even when I moved to the city, we were each other’s worlds.” She lets out a huge sigh, worming her way further into the couch, hiding herself away. This is no longer my bubbly girl. This is Stella with every layer peeled back, exposed and vulnerable. Gone is the cheery façade and positive outlook.
“One day, last year, he had to cover for Sharon. She had found out a few weeks prior that she was pregnant, and she was nervous to go to the job site. Everyone knew that some safety measures weren’t… adhered to. She was scared that it could put her and the baby at risk. And my dad, being how he is, went in without question. Despite some of the things he did, he was a good guy. As much as he helped out for the money, he also just took pride in being there for people. So he went in.”
“And the scaffolding collapsed,” I finish for her. Her eyes are surprisingly dry. She must be tough as nails to be holding it together like this.
“And the scaffolding collapsed,” she confirms. “His legs were completely crushed. Nothing they could do for them. Then, when the worker’s comp and insurance didn’t come through, we had all this debt and regular bills to pay. I was taking on every shift at Booze & Brews that I could, but nothing I did was ever enough. If I wasn’t at work, I was visiting him in the hospital.” Her voice is small, uncertain.
“You did as much as you could, sunshine.” I want so badly to reach out and hold her, but she looks like she might dissolve if I touch her. I need to let her get through this.
“They amputated pretty much right away. We all knew there was no saving his legs. The recovery was brutal. While he was in the hospital, I tried to save up to help renovate his house for him. Make it more accessible. I found some more notices while I was there. He wasn’t just in debt. He was drowning.
“He developed a gambling addiction. While I was off gallivanting in the city, he had been struggling and I didn’t even see it. The payments he needed to make were astronomical. I started to panic. I drove straight over to the hospital to talk to him about it, make a game plan, but I walked in…” Her voice hitches as she swallows back a sob.
I can’t take it. In one move I’m across the couch, pulling her into my lap, pressing her into me, holding her as tightly as she’ll allow. She takes a few deep breaths, her muscles relaxing against me.
“I walked in, and the charge nurse was there to meet me. She’d tried to call me, but I was driving and didn’t answer. He’d gotten a blood infection. A vicious one. By the time they found it, there was nothing they could do. He coded then and there.”
“Sunshine, I am so sorry. No one should ever have to go through that.” I stroke her hair and she presses her head into my palm. I want to wrap her in a bubble and never let anything hurt her again. My bubbly girl is strong. She made it through this. She’s still making it through this.
“It was so weird to be at his funeral. It was me, his brother, and a few close friends of his, but that was it.”
“Why did no one show up?” That’s the part that makes the least sense to me.
“Your dad,” she says simply. My horror must be all over my face as she winces sympathetically. “Sharon reached out to me afterwards. She had been on maternity leave and didn’t realize he had passed. Apparently, people knew about the drama and didn’t want to go in case there was retaliation. They didn’t want to risk their jobs, not after seeing how poorly the company was willing to treat them.”
“Fucking hell.” I scrub my face. I thought I knew what kind of man my dad is, but hearing this puts a whole new light on it. “Did you tell Nessa? Or Hazel?”
“No. After everything, I couldn’t handle any more pity. I thought I would take some time, tell them after the funeral, but the stuff with Justin had just hit the fan, and Hazel was recovering. Nessa was struggling. I didn’t want to burden them. So I put it off and put it off and it became easier to not talk about it at all.”
“And you still visit him, so no one’s any the wiser.”
“Exactly. I don’t want to bring anyone down. The world is bleak enough without me adding to it. They think I took vacation to visit him, but I was finally wrapping up his estate. It took forever.”
“They would have listened, you know. They would have helped.”
“I know.”
“So now you’re stuck dealing with a fuck ton of debt and grieving the death of a parent all on your own?”
“Yeah. Collections took the house and his car to pay off the gambling stuff and some hospital fees, but everything else, the credit cards, the line of credit…”
“Was in your name.”Holy shit.“You had to take on his debt because you’re a joint account holder.”
“Yup. I am now the proud owner of 100k of credit card debt.” She tries to laugh it off. It comes out watery and thin.
“I’m so sorry, Stella. For the accusations, for not trusting you, it was fucked up.”
“I’ve seen the household you grow up in, I get being a little paranoid about being manipulated.” I wish she weren’t so understanding. I wish she would get mad at me, but she’s just so… sweet.
“Didn’t you get any life insurance from him? Or your mom?” Something like that would have helped immensely, and the insurance company couldn’t deny it like they could for other things as his death wasn’t intentional, even if they believed his other actions were.”
“I can’t touch it, it doesn’t feel right.” That takes me aback.
“What do you mean? This is why people have life insurance, so they don’t saddle their children with a shit ton of debt and ruin their lives.”
“Can you stop with all the unsolicited advice, please?”
“I’m your friend, Stella. Consider it one of the benefits.”
