Page 95 of To Go
Stud
I’m outside your building.
Crap on a cracker.I think to myself as my phone rings to buzz him up.At least everything is already cleaned?
It only takes a minute for his long legs to make his way to my suite. One solid knock on the door announces his arrival. He plows in without a word when I let him in, his silence, while not abnormal for him, setting me on edge.
“Hi,” I say, approaching him with slow, tentative steps. “Is everything okay?” I ask.
“No.” The word hits like an anvil. I wait for him to elaborate, but he’s simmering, standing stock still, fists clenched.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” My tone only sounds slightly annoyed. If he’s here to break things off with me I’d rather he got it over with quickly.
“Who’s Callum McPhearson?” His voice is stern, leaving no room for disobedience.
“He’s some guy I knew in high school, why?” Does he think I was cheating on him? We had agreed to exclusivity, even if we aren’t officially together.
“What do you know about him?” James asks, the tension in his voice so thick it could crush me.
“Umm…” I wrack my brain. “He’s tall-ish, dark curly hair, he sucks at pre-calculus, he was in senior band, he has an older sister, I’m not sure what else? Why are you asking me this?” James’ nostrils are flared, his cut jaw clenched. His posture has gone entirely rigid.
“So, you know that he’s a drummer,” he bites.
“What does this have to do with anything?” I say, my voice getting shrill. It’s like he’s playing with his food. The scary bouncer vibe I’ve always teased him about is now turned on me.
“I got kicked out of the band,” he says, like a final blow. All the air whooshes out of me. I take a step back, trying to process what he’s saying. He doesn’t wait for me to catch up before he keeps going. “Guess who’s replacing me.” He waits a beat. “Callum McPhearson.”
“How… why…?” I try to organize my thoughts, ask what happened. Everything is rushing through my head, like a sped up movie in a foreign language.
“And do you want to know how they found out about him?” James takes a menacing step towards me. I stumble back instinctively, which only makes his brow scrunch up further. He jabs a finger at me. “You.”
“What do you mean? I never… I mean I don’t even speak to him anymore!” I probably haven’t even seen him since we graduated.
“At the party. You talked about how good he was. They auditioned him this week. I’m out.” Tears gather at the corners of my eyes as I try to choke them down.
“James, I may have mentioned him but I never… I didn’t say it with the intention of…”
“Are you sure? Because that offer my parents made sounded pretty good to me. Paying off all your debt? Making you financially independent? Sounds like a pretty good deal. All you had to do was get the band to drop me, so I’d have no other choice except to go work for my dad.”
“James, whoa, that’s not at all—"
“It wouldn’t have been hard either. You already got me to fuck you, let my guard down. I betrayed my goddamn sister for you!” he bellows. “All it took was some good pussy and pretending to like me and I just rolled over. Are you proud of yourself? That you were able to get me wrapped around your deceitful little finger?”
“JAMES, SHUT UP!” I shout. Silence reverberates around the room. The foot of space between us suddenly feels like miles.
“I was drunk. I mentioned that you weren’t the only drummer I knew. That’s it. I didn’t know that they were going to—"
“Replace me,” he finishes.
“Do anything with that information. I’m sorry,” my voice cracks. “I really am. You have to believe me, this wasn’t intentional.”
“FUCK, Stella.” His chest heaves as he starts to pace, gripping his hair and muttering to himself. “I want to believe you, honestly, I do. But you understand what this looks like, right?”
“You have got to be kidding me!” I’m beyond insulted, I’m horrified that he thinks that little of me. “Do you really believe that I would have taken a deal like that? With everything you know about me? You think I wouldsell you out?!” My anger leaks through my words, daring him to question my integrity again.
“I don’t know, Stella! People do shitty things all the time.” I gasp, taking a step back. “I don’t know, I don’t—What am I going to do?” When he finally looks at me again, his eyes are wild and panicked. He’s breaking my heart, crushing it in his fist. “If I don’t have the band then I—I’m stuck. I can’t work for my dad. I can’t take over that shitshow, it’ll kill me.”
“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “There’s a lot you could do. You could find a different job here in the city. You could look for another band to play with.” A small smile teases my lips. “You could come travel with me?” It’s mostly a joke, but it triggers something in him.
