Page 45 of Rejected Forced Mate
He needed me. That, too, complicated things.
While I teetered on the edge of sleep, Noah, despite everything on his plate, climbed into bed to hold me. There was a challenging Alpha in his territory, a separate threat haunting his borders, a father that didn't appreciate the work he had done to save the pack, and then me, his mate, who still wasn't sure she wanted to stay. Even with all of that, he took the time to pull me into his arms and hold me, stroking my hair and pressing his lips to the crown of my head.
In the arms of my mate, I fell into a dreamless sleep, my illness forgotten for the moment.
Hours later, with dawn cresting the horizon, I woke with Noah gone but another presence in the room. Bleary-eyed, I sat up and watched one of the pack's doctors, Leslie, puttering around the room. I dragged a hand over my face, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
"Noah called you?" I asked, and the doctor jumped, whipping around to look at me.
"Good, you're awake," Leslie said, and she moved to press the back of her hand to my forehead, then my neck. "How do you feel?"
"Better," I admitted. "Just a bit tired."
Leslie hummed. "Well, Noah is dealing with some things, so he's asked me to stay here while he handles them."
I was tempted to ask what was happening, but decided against it. Instead, I focused on the doctor and her questions, and the check-up she performed on me. As a healer, I knew I could have run through everything myself, but I endured it all simply because I knew it would put
Noah's mind is at ease. I had no idea what had happened to me in that clearing, but I chalked it up to a panic attack or something similar. After all, the situation had been panic-worthy.
It wasn't until Leslie had me lift my arms and she palpitated my abdomen that the doctor's expression changed. She had me lie back and pressed around the area a little bit more before shooting me a shocked look.
"Wait right here."
Five minutes later, she'd fished a palm-length white box from her medicine bag, and not long after that, the two of us were staring at the positive pregnancy test in stunned silence.
I was pregnant. With Noah's baby, I was terrified.
"This explains what happened to you yesterday. Your magic is going to make you even more sensitive to the pregnancy. You need to take it easy."
"Noah can't know," I said, my voice hollow.
Leslie blinked at me, "What do you mean? He's the Alpha. He should be told right away."
"No," I insisted. "Please, Leslie. I'll tell him, but I just need some time, okay? I want to be the one to share it with him."
It was half a lie—I really needed the time to figure out what to do, but I had no intention of telling Noah.
The pregnancy shattered the careful happiness I had started to feel. It wasn't the first time that had happened. Every time I got too comfortable in the Silvervine pack, something would happen to throw a wrench into it. First, Noah rejected our bond, and now a child that Noah was sure to hate.
My child, who would more than likely have my magic. The same thing that had made me a pariah in the pack before. As much as Noah had changed, I was having a hard time convincing myself that he'd changed enough that he would be okay with having a witch child. The harsh words he'd used to reject me echoed in my skull until my head was pounding.
And then there was Richard. Throughout everything, Noah hadn't cut his father off, so what would it be like for my child to have a grandfather so full of hate?
"I'll leave the test here for you," Leslie said, snapping me out of my thoughts. She was gathering her supplies and lookedup at me as she stuffed the last of them into her bag. "Please think about talking to him, Sage. He has a right to know."
"I'll talk to him." It was a flat-out lie, but she didn't need to know that. "Thank you so much, Leslie."
As soon as she was gone, I sank onto the bed and buried my face in my hands. My mind raced, and the panic and fear were overwhelming. I felt sick all over again, and I had no idea how long it would take Noah to return. I didn't even know if he would come back today, not with everything else going on.
That was fine. I needed the space because if I was going to run, it would have to be soon. And I wasn't going to be able to do it alone, either.
***
It wasn't easy, but I managed to track down Joe and his wolves without Noah catching me. I still felt abysmal, but I was backed into a corner. My child wasn't going to live with people who hated them, and I was certain that Noah, as much as he'd changed for the better, would falter when it came to his heir being a witch.
He said that he cared for me, but how far would that carry? Did Noah value every part of me, even down to the magic that had made me a freak in the eye of the pack five years ago? Or was he just fooling himself?
I wanted to trust him, I wanted to believe in him, but when I thought about the little life inside of me, it just wasn't worth the risk.
