Page 38 of Christmas Crisis
And I couldn’t give her everything she needed.
But I struggled to believe the surfer-bro shaking his ass as he walked out the door could either.
Chapter eleven
Miranda
NOW
Waking up on Monday felt like I’d fallen into a parallel reality, one where my life hadn’t completely jackknifed on Thanksgiving.
If someone had asked me a week ago, I would have guessed the day would go like this: I’d wake up to a happy birthday text from Stone, and perhaps a flower delivery. Then I’d go to work, and in the break room, there would be a store-bought cake, along with a card everyone in the office signed with only their names, maybeadding something like “Have a good one.” In the afternoon, I’d treat myself to a Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino and probably get more texts from friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I’d made a half-hearted promise to have dinner with Raven, but it was more likely I’d order in and video chat with Stone. And the whole day, I would have felt awful about the fact that Leo and I weren’t talking.
But instead of the California sun, I’d woken up to Puget Sound drizzle, and Leo’s weighted blanket had replaced my light duvet. A Post-it Note on the bedside table informed me he had already procured my Frappuccino. It waited for me in the fridge. Also, he’d gone to his jobsite and would be home around five. Rather than smiling through a tepid office birthday, my work time would be spent on Leo’s couch, staring at the giant painting of London’s melting skyline. And instead of fretting about how Leo and I hadn’t spoken in weeks, he’d be taking me to dinner.
I still got the birthday text from Stone, though.
STONE:Happy Birthday to My Favorite Girl! *cake emoji* *party hat emoji* *happy face blowing streamer emoji* *present emoji* *red balloon emoji* *red heart emoji* *pink heart emoji*
My apartment manager texted to let me know a massive bouquet had been delivered to my apartment and was sitting outside my door. I supposed Stone, or Shoshanna more likely, had forgotten to cancel it. I replied that he could have the flowers for himself. Or toss them.
Stone also left a voice message apologizing that he wouldn’t be able to call later since he had a night shoot in a remote location.
I went into the kitchen to find my Frappuccino. The cup had another Post-it Note on it.I hope you’re able to get to this before it melts. I didn’t want to put it in the freezer because I thought that might mess up the whipped cream. If it’s too soupy, let meknow and I’ll have another delivered. Happy Birthday.He’d put the cup in a bucket of ice, which had only melted halfway. The temperature was perfect.
Leo had certainly gone to a lot of trouble to get me my birthday treat of choice. Despite the success of the past few days, we were still a little nervous around one another. Still overcompensating. I figured it was because we hadn’t truly worked through the fallout from our fight, other than both of us being apologetic. But that didn’t change what we’d said.
I’d spent the last three nights in Leo’s arms, knowing he was giving me everything he could, and realizing I could no longer square the circle between my relationship with him and my relationship with Stone.
My workday flew by in a barrage of Teams calls, emails, and virtual client meetings. I was grateful that my current notoriety hadn’t penetrated those spaces. And when I snuck peeks at my phone during the day, it seemed like the world was moving away from the notion that Stone was a cheater.
Ironically, they seemed to have wholeheartedly embraced the idea that Stone and I weregoalsfor what platonic friendship should look like between a man and a woman, and extended this praise to Naomi and Leo for being examples of how trusting partners should behave.
JFC. The internet couldn’t decide if it was smart, dumb, a teacher, a judge, a toddler, or a demon. Luckily, a confluence of factors had benefited us. This happened on a holiday weekend, so people were in good moods and not paying attention to the news, which let us get ahead of the narrative. Not to mention there were other stories to provide distraction—bigger celebrities doing nastier things, or crazier things, or simply behaving in ways that demanded more attention than Stone did.
Shoshanna let me know that Naomi planned to fly out to Vancouver tomorrow and would stay with Stone for a few daysso they could be photographed together. She also told me to keep up the good work with Leo. I almost replied that it wasn’t work at all. I wasn’t doing anything different, and neither was he.
Other than that kiss in the arcade. The one he’d done for show.
Even with work to engage me, spending the day alone with my thoughts and scrolling on my phone wasn’t ideal. Pacing around the silent apartment in the late afternoon, I felt my mood spiraling. Things were falling in our favor, but despite that, there werea lotof comments. When I logged off work for the day, I was pretty much the definition of someone who needed to touch grass.
By the time I heard Leo’s key slide into the exterior lock, I ached for the comfort and grounding only he could provide.
“Happy Birthday!” he shouted, grinning widely as the door swung open.
I attacked before he was all the way inside.
“Oof,” he sputtered as I launched myself against his middle. One of his arms came around my torso, and the other pressed the back of my head, holding me to him. “Hey, hey, Panda… What’s wrong?” His voice was a whisper as he kissed my hair.
I rested my cheek against his wide chest, soaking up the overwhelming sense of gravity that flooded me. I’d missed it all day. His solidness. Tears threatened, and I pushed them back. “It’s okay, Bear. Just birthday blues.”
How had I lived without Leo these past weeks since our fight?Duh. Because you were doing okay. You were always going to make up with him the minute you needed him.
I considered what I’d realized over the past few days. For both our sakes, we needed healthy boundaries.But how would I ever survive without this?
“Are you sure?” he asked, rubbing his hands up and down my back. I arched into his touch. “This seems like more than birthday blues.”
Wiping my eyes, I forced myself to step back from him. “I think—”
