Page 32 of Christmas Crisis
SHOSHANNA (STONE’S PA):Watch this.
I clicked on the attached link. It was a video of an interview with Naomi, who was on set in Texas. She talked about how, as much as she appreciated the public looking out for her, she and Stone were doing great. She knew me through my friendshipwith Stone, and she also knew I was in a long-distance relationship with a man named Leo who lived outside Seattle. I gave Naomi credit. If I hadn’t known it was bullshit firsthand, I would have believed her. She even spoke fluently about my @theadventurousmiranda account, saying she was glad Stone had friends who shared some of his more active hobbies.
Stone had posted a similar video to his YouTube channel, but Shoshanna and Lauren were clear that it was Naomi’s voice that mattered most.
A few more texts had come through overnight. I wondered if Shoshanna ever slept. It would totally track if she turned out to be a vampire.
SHOSHANNA (STONE’S PA):These are some brilliant moves.
She’d sent a dozen links to videos and reels showing my date with Leo yesterday at the arcade and the restaurant. Someone had even posted the entire serenade I’d received from the restaurant staff. I appreciated being able to see Leo’s amused reaction because I hadn’t noticed it yesterday with the sombrero covering my eyes. It reminded me of how much I loved his laugh. Hopefully, he wouldn’t mind all the comments along the lines of,“OMG is this Miranda chick dating Thor?” “Seriously, this man is built like a God,” and “Um, yeah, so I’d pick this guy over prettyboy Stone Caseman any day of the week.”
Actually, Leo probably would like that last one.
Her last text came in during the early morning hours.
SHOSHANNA (STONE’S PA):Are you sure you want to stay in marketing? Because there is a future for you in crisis PR. Seriously, if I didn’t know better, I would swear that you have been cheating on my boy Stone with this Leo person.
She’d attached pictures someone had taken of us at the arcade. Leo kissing my forehead and my cheek. My mouth. Both our eyes closed, his lips pressed into mine while he held my waist. His enormous hands looked like oven mitts clutching my small hips. The moment was intimate, even with dozens of people in the background and the glaring neon lights of the arcade games.
There was also a text from Naomi. We’d exchanged numbers a while ago for logistical purposes. Prior to today, I could scroll through all our communications with a few swipes, but this time, she’d sent me a book.
NAOMI BUTLER:Hello Miranda. I’m hoping you saw my interview. Please know that I don’t blame you for any of this. (Just in case you were wondering and maybe you weren’t because I’m reading this now and I see how I can seem like kind of an asshole just assuming you were worried about what I think at all). But anyway, just in case you were, I’m not mad. I know it was an honest mistake. This was always a huge risk, and we should have called it off a long time ago. There have been so many times over the past year when I’ve thought about texting you and really reaching out. At the time we started this stupid fake dating between me and Stone, I was so concerned with changing my image that I didn’t really think about your part in all of this. And then when the movie took off—I guess I went a little crazy. I feel like I’ve spent the past ten years trying not to be controlled by other people, and then in a moment when I should have put my foot down, I failed the test. I feel like maybe I broke girl code or something by not trying to make this easier on you. Not checking in more. To be honest, I don’t have a lot of friends. Not ones I can trust anyway. I’ve always envied Stone having someone in his life who kept him grounded and who he could trust. Seeing you called a home-wrecker and Stone a cheater made me sick to my stomach.Please know that I appreciate everything you’re doing and have done. You’re not the only one who’s trying to fix this. I know I owe you.
NAOMI BUTLER:Maybe after this is all over, we can be friends?
I wondered how long she debated sending the second text. It made me feel better that she’d taken the time to reach out. I honestly hadn’t spared many thoughts for her since Thanksgiving. I texted back quickly.
ME:Thanks for sending this. No worries about any of it. We all made choices. I’m just glad we’re on the same team. And of course we can be friends.
It was vague enough without being dismissive, and it would have to do for now. I followed it up with three heart-hand emojis, leaving the door open for us to touch base down the line, if either of us truly felt the urge.
There were other messages. I’d distanced myself from my college friend group since graduation, but a few of them had sent texts of the “WTF?” variety. It occurred to me that even if the public believed my story, many people in my life would have questions about my relationship with Stone. My friend Raven summed it up best.
RAVEN:Not cool, my dude. How the fuck did you manage not to tell us you were friends with Stone Caseman???????????? *frowny face emoji*
I hated upsetting people. My stomach roiled thinking that someone was mad at me. I hoped everyone would buy the argument that Stone and I had kept our friendship private at my request since I didn’t want to be seen as a hanger-on or too much in the public eye.
I was most concerned that my sisters and Leo’s family would be mad that we hadn’t told them we were dating. It was trickier to explain away, but at least the story we’d devised sounded plausible.
As I scrolled, the good news was that our plan appeared to be working. No one could deny that Leo and I looked loved up, and there was significant blowback against commentators insisting that Stone must be cheating since I was a woman. When I’d proposed this idea to Shoshanna and Lauren, none of us anticipated the situation would reignite the age-old debate overwhethermen and women can just be friends,but that was exactly what happened. And it worked in our favor.
There also seemed to be a respect because I hadn’t used my friendship with Stone to hype up @theadventurousmiranda. People found that to be evidence of my authenticity.
Still, even some of the supportive posts were oddly passive-aggressive.
They definitely look like a couple but I’m not a fan of blond-on-blond.
So Stone is a good boyfriend to Naomi and a good friend to @theadventurousmiranda? Yawn. If you’re boring just say that.
That wannabe Thor guy is old, right? It’s not just me. I think he’s, like, ancient. Over 35 for sure.
“Ouch,” Leo said, reading over my shoulder. I hadn’t noticed that he’d finished his shower. I kept my gaze averted from hisdamp chest as he clutched a towel around his waist. His eyes scanned my phone as I scrolled through the comments. “It’s like we can’t win.”
I chuckled. “Hey, at least they believe it.”
Leo tossed his wet hair dramatically. “So that’s the verdict? It’s working?”
Humming, I looked up from the screen. “Seems to be. I haven’t heard anything from Shoshanna this morning, and that’s probably a good sign. She was happy yesterday.”
