Page 57 of Christmas Crisis
Within the confines of our behind-the-curtain relationship, Stone usually treated me well. By necessity, we spent most of our limited time together at my apartment. He listened when I talked about my classes, asking specifics about tests and online lectures. We cooked together and took long drives, finding lonely stopovers where we could get out and gaze at the stars. I told him stories about growing up in Coleman Creek,about Marley’s students and Maureen’s online styling clients. He rubbed my shoulders when I looked stressed, and he never failed to tell me how beautiful and amazing I was.
For sure, knowing there was an end date to his charade with Naomi helped me manage the secrecy. I just needed to hang on until the movie came out in July. But there was another issue in our relationship that wouldn’t be as easily solved. Watching Stone on his laptop and phone this week, spending every hour of the day near him, it really sank in how busy he was chasing his dreams.
If I were to eventually become Stone’s real, public-facing girlfriend, I would also need to accept that he would be gone a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Unlike the situation with Naomi, his travel schedule wouldn’t be changing anytime soon.
Stone had been away from Los Angeles for at least half the time we’d known each other. Besides his movie shoot, he traveled constantly to film clips for his channel, flying regularly to other states to appear on podcasts or the occasional local morning show. He felt like he needed to say yes to every opportunity since, as he liked to remind me, his star could grow cold as quickly as it had grown hot. He rarely let hisI don’t carefacade slip, but underneath, I saw how nervous he was about not being able to make his fame stick.
Mostly, the distance worked for me. Stone didn’t make demands. He wasn’t around much, but when he was, it was like getting a recharge on feeling attractive and desired.
It had taken me a while to decode what it was about Stone’s fakery with Naomi that still nagged at me—the unease I’d admitted to Leo during our tense video call. At first, I assumed it was as Leo suspected, that I didn’t like this plan because Stone was treating me more cavalierly than he should.
But that wasn’t the truth.
What I truly disliked about Stone’s arrangement with Naomi was that it forced me to put more thought and energy into our relationship than I wanted to. There was a reason I hadn’t gone public with Stone. I’d liked having an excuse to put in so little effort.
Wandering around one of Maui’s most beautiful beaches solo had driven home the point of just how little investment I’d made. Those first few months, I’d enjoyed spending time with Stone, the man, but what I’d really fallen for was the convenience of Stone, the boyfriend I didn’t have to think too hard about.
Now I had to coordinate our schedules to avoid being seen together. I had Shoshanna hassling me to sign an NDA. The tactical maneuvering involved in making this vacation happen was worthy of a spy novel.
I recalled Leo’s crinkled-up face and broken voice when he worried I wasn’t getting what I deserved.
But it was more like I was getting much more than I’d bargained for.
I heard the snapping sound of someone walking in flip-flops. Stone came up behind me as the sun set. He rolled out a towel on the sand and pulled me into his arms.
“You look stunning out here in the evening light,” he said, kissing my freckled shoulder. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick. Being on the phone and stuff.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s given me a chance to think.” I snuggled against his chest.
“Oh yeah? Watchya thinking about?”
“I was thinking that I can’t wait until your movie comes out this summer. So you can end the thing with Naomi.”
He pulled me away from him, fixing his eyes on mine. “I thought you were cool with it?”
“I am,” I responded slowly. “But I don’t love it. It’s been…harder than I thought it would be.”There you go, Leo. This is me laying it on the line with Stone, just like you wanted me to.“I don’t like that it’s put us in a stasis. I want to try being an actual couple, seeing what that feels like.”
He sighed. “I want that too.”
Nodding, I leaned back into him. “I graduate in June, so lots of things will change. When we first met, I know it was my choice to keep things casual and under wraps. It made sense to be on the down-low until we could be sure we were going somewhere. But what I realized is, we can’t figure that out if we’re hiding all the time. When we’re together but also not. Like I said, stasis. I need a reason to put more energy into our relationship, not our deception.”
He wrapped his arms around me. “That makes sense.”
That settled it in my mind. Once Stone and I made our relationship official, I could decide if I wanted to invest more into it. We’d already put in six months. Maybe with more time, and hopefully a little less distance, I could form the sort of connection with Stone that I’d forged with Leo.
Chapter sixteen
Leo
NOW
We went to the official Coleman Creek tree lighting celebration after Marley and James unpacked their car. To my pleasant surprise, I recognized many of the faces. Katy and Kasen were there, along with lots of people I remembered from James and Marley’s wedding, including some of their students and fellow teachers. I also scoped out the six city blocks designated for next weekend’s Holiday Hoopla, three on either side of the enormous tree. Several people who’d heard about myoffer to help set up for the event sought me out to offer their thanks.
“It’s crazy how so many people already know about that,” I said to James after receiving a handshake of gratitude from the mayor.
He grinned and shrugged. “Small towns.”
James still had classes to teach, but Will offered to assist me when he wasn’t with Maureen at her store. In theory, Will was a property developer in Seattle, splitting his time between there and Coleman Creek, but he’d mostly been on hiatus from that while he’d helped Maureen get her businesses up and running. After consulting with Katy and the mayor, I agreed to start construction on Wednesday morning, hoping that everything would be ready by Friday afternoon for the Hoopla on Saturday. It was a tight timeline, but since they always set up the event the same way, I could work with last year’s plans.
