Page 61 of Christmas Crisis
“For what? Blackmail material?”
“I was thinking LinkedIn profile pic, but blackmail works too.”
“Delete them.”
“We’ll see.”
Chapter seventeen
Miranda
NOW
On Wednesday, two minutes after closing out of my work portal, I received an unwelcome message on my phone.
SHOSHANNA (STONE’S PA):Stone asked me to check in with you. He said you’re not picking up your calls or answering texts.
Ugh. I liked Shoshanna, and I knew she was just doing her job, but dammit, this was weird. And invasive. I didn’t owe her anymore than what I was already doing. I’d gotten into a groove in Coleman Creek and was enjoying the breather. There were large chunks of time when I forgot the circumstances that brought me back to town. Because I could just exist here. And be happy.
With Leo.
I knew I should pick up Stone’s calls, or at least reply to his texts, but a larger part of me wanted to…not do that. To allow myself to behave as if we were truly apart, to try that feeling on for size.
I couldn’t get away from the situation entirely. Even though I wasn’t providing more statements about Stone on @theadventurousmiranda, I did post pictures of me and Leo. In front of the Christmas tree. Outside playing with Bambi and Oscar. At the bowling alley. It was so much easier to process and commit to the playacting in Coleman Creek. There was nowhere I was more comfortable.
And Stone needed to let me handle it my way. He could try using Shoshanna as his errand person, but I didn’t need to go along with it.
I closed the text app and shoved my phone in my pocket.
A moment later, Leo walked into the room.
“How’d it go?” I asked. He’d spent the day working with Kasen, setting up for the Holiday Hoopla.
“Good, I think. We’re ahead of schedule because Will swung by for a few hours. And he may not be a professional, but Kasen is a huge help.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s always been a hard worker.” I rubbed my temples.
“You alright?”
“Tired. I hate being on Zoom while the rest of the team is in the office. They don’t seem pissed or anything, but it’s hard.”
“Still no work besties?”
I shook my head. “Hasn’t been enough time, plus, you know—”
He didn’t need me to say Stone’s name. We both knew. When I’d made the comment at the bowling alley about starting myreal life, it struck me how much my relationship with Stone had kept me treading water for the past year. Not just in the romantic sense, but in all aspects of my existence. Turning down Stone’s FaceTime requests and not replying to his texts was petty, sure, but it was also liberating. Now that I’d separated myself from Los Angeles, I recognized how much of a hole I’d been in.
To be fair, I already knew. I’d already decided what I needed to say to him. But the past few days in Coleman Creek had strengthened my resolve.
I’d tried to start myreal lifeonce, the first time I’d planned to move on from my friends. Then my mom got sick, and I stayed in place rather than risk disappointing her. After she died, my grief paralyzed me again. Meeting Leo, being with him, I’d begun to heal. But then came the letdown of not being able to be with him the way I wished I could be. That chance meeting with Stone on the beach, so innocuous at the time, created another excuse for my inertia.
Leo was my safe place to be myself, to live as authentically as possible. That was why I’d lost my shit with him on Halloween. Because I knew nothing I could say or do would make him walk away from me for good.
That was also why I knew he’d understand once I told him I needed some distance. At least for a little while. I’d tell him how much I loved him, but that our love wasn’t serving me at the moment. I had to resolve things with Stone and decide what came next. And I knew Leo would support me. It wouldn’t break us.
“You look like your brain is melting, Panda.”
I brushed away my thoughts. If this holiday season was the last chunk of time I got with Leo before putting space between us, I was making the most of it.
