Page 23 of Sweethearts and Savages
She released me and I sat back in my seat. “Is this about Enit Baxter kissing you the other day? It made quite an impression on Hannah.”
My face flushed such a bright red that I wondered if it would burst the capillaries in my cheeks. “Perhaps.”
Layla raised an eyebrow. “Hannah said you ran away like she had cooties.”
I snorted out a laugh. “I guess it may have looked that way.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
There were a lot of studies that theorized that talking with a trusted person eased stress and anxiety, and there was no one I trusted more than Layla, except perhaps Daniel. “I’m not sure if you are aware, but romance has never been a big motivator for me. I’m fairly sure that I’ve never grown out of the stage where boys have cooties. I just don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone. Anyone except…” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Enit,” Layla supplied.
“Yes. She makes me feel things that I don’t understand, and I hate not understanding things.” I sucked in a deep breath. “Why does she make me feel like this, and no one else does? Is it a physiological response to her Omega designation? Are my feelings not really mine but an evolutionary biological response?”
Layla frowned, considering my words. “Hmmm. Let's talk about Christopher, her brother. When you’re in his presence, do you feel the urge to submit to his dominance? Or fight him?”
I snorted. “Highly unlikely.” I liked Enit’s siblings. They loved each other with such overwhelming protectiveness, and it reminded me of my relationship with Daniel. When you go through something traumatic as children, the bond is stronger than that of normal siblings.
But I had no urge to bare my throat to Christopher.
Oh.
“Oh, I see what you are saying.”
Layla gave me a small smile. “If your response to Enit was due to her Omega designation, then logic would say that you are susceptible to all pheromonal stimuli. But you aren’t.” She rubbed my arm soothingly. “You’re a scientist, Stacey. You know that there is fluidity to everything. You can’t always predict the exact same results in every experiment—there are all sorts of environmental factors that can alter the outcome. Sexuality and attraction are the same. You’re asexual, or maybe demisexual, or maybe none of those things. But none of those labels mean that you can’t be physically or romantically attracted to a pretty little Omega wolf who looks at you like you’re the most wondrous being in the world. You have to stop looking at yourself like a failed experiment, searching for environmental stumbling blocks about why you aren’t like the ‘control group,’ and instead let yourself feel. Let yourself live. Some things defy explanation and love is definitely one of those things. Give yourself permission to just experience it, without having to find out the why.”
I bit my lower lip, the lump in my throat too big, until I was forced to clear it. “You’ve been spending too much time with Alistair this pregnancy,” I teased softly.
She waved me away with a grin. “Both you and Alistair are scientists. I picked up a bit along the way.” She pushed herself out of the chair, and waved me in for another hug. “I love you so much, Stace. You are the most amazing daughter any mother could ask for. We are so damn proud of you.” She stepped away. “Now, stop hiding away, and go find Enit and tell her how you feel. Then bring her and her pretty lion Alpha around for dinner one night.”
I let out an undignified squeak. “You know about that? That she’s dating Bohdie too?”
She nodded. “Yep. Not much happens in this Academy I don’t know about. And if you wanted to be with the lion Alpha too, your dads and I would be happy for you.”
I gagged a little and Layla put her head back and laughed so hard she had to hold her stomach. “Or not,” she wheezed. “Stop before I give birth on your kitchen floor.” She shooed me out my own front door before bustling away.
Damn, I loved her too.
Locking my door, I strode toward the dorm buildings. Layla was right. I didn’t have to freak out about this. My dream was just there, waiting for me to take what she was offering. I just had to have the bravery to do it.
I marched with single-minded focus toward the dorm rooms. When they’d been moved in here, I’d subtly made enquiries about which dorm room she was put in. It wasn’t weird. We were friends, even if I had run away like she had cooties when she’d kissed me. Hannah had that right at least.
I stopped outside of her door, raising my hand to knock.
Then I stilled. This was stupid. She definitely deserved better, and the more I thought about it, the more likely it was her Omega designation causing these feelings. The pheromones were different between Alpha and Omega, maybe that’s why Christopher didn’t affect me at all.
I should go and study myself.
I walked away, striding back down the hall. This was stupid. I should be in the lab anyway. My samples should just about be ready.
The elevator door slid open and I stared at myself in the wall mirror at the back of the enclosed cube. My hair was a wild riot of curls. I looked like a scared kitten. Scared of the softest, sweetest person on the earth. I at least owed her an apology.
I stepped back into the hall and let the doors slide closed behind me. I strode back to her door, lifting my hand once more to knock, then pausing.
I was scared. Terrified.
The door swung open and then Enit was standing there, her blue eyes looking like deep pools in her face. “I could smell your anxiety.”
