Page 68 of Inside the Maelstrom: Part One
Sampson had said it sounded crazy, and maybe it was. But right now, I could relate to being lonely. The inscription in the book had listed a store in Hong Kong, and for the first time in weeks, I wondered if I should just go home. Give this whole crazy thing up before it consumed me completely.
But I couldn’t, not yet. Nemo was waiting for me, and I knew he was the answer. He would see my madness as a reflection of his own, and we could heal together. My mirror.
Evan slowed as we got to the lobby of the hotel, and he walked straight in, ignoring the looks from the reception staff, while I just buried my face in his neck. He smelled really good. A soft, manly smell that was both reassuring and arousing.
“How old are you?” I asked, and felt him stiffen underneath me. He lowered me to the ground, and I tugged at the hem of my dress, pulling it back down my thighs.
“Too old for what you’re thinking.”
I frowned, sniffing and scrubbing my eyes on the back of my arm. “What am I thinking?”
The doors to his floor slid open, and he frowned at me. “Revenge sex.”
I stepped past him into the hall, ignoring his words. He pointed down the hall at a door, and I tried not to wince with every step. Now that the sake had worn off, I was really feeling that blister. “Do you know what it feels like to be empty? To feel like a vampire, missing something integral that I have to leech from the people around me. Sometimes I feel like I was born empty, and nothing I ever do fills me up. Maybe that’s why I relate so well to the guys. We’re the same, yet different. Except Otto. He’s a blood bank, pouring himself into us all. Soon, he’ll be nothing but a husk too.”
I chewed my lip as I looked up at Evan, his brown eyes a soft caramel in this light.
“The guys, they filled that emptiness for a while, but eventually they realized what everyone does. I’m a black hole, and I suck everyone down into that emptiness with me.”
He grabbed my elbow, turning me to face him. “That’s not true, Chaos. They like you.”
I laughed, and it was a sad sound even to my own ears. “They don’t know me.” I paused, my eyes watering no matter how hard I blinked. “I’m not asking for a ring, Evan. I just want you to fuck the feelings back. I want to be full for just a moment. Please.” I winced at how my voice cracked, and I dropped my eyes to the floor.
“Aviva…”
I was already shaking my head. “I’m sorry. Forget it. I’m going back to my room—”
But his hand wrapped around the back of my head and then he was kissing me. It was a kiss filled with self-flagellation, which was hard to describe. He was devouring my lips, but holding his body stiff, and I could almost hear his internal thoughts about how bad of an idea this was. My body curled toward him naturally, and I sighed as his warmth soaked into me.
“You wanna know how old I am, Chaos? Old enough to know this is a terrible idea. To know that this won’t make you feel better tomorrow.”
He kissed me again, his tongue slipping past my teeth to stroke mine as he walked me backwards to the door, resting me against it as he held out the door key to the scanner. I pushed the handle down when it clicked, and then we were slipping into the dark room. The door shut behind us, but neither of us reached for the lights.
He pulled his mouth away. “Are you sure about this, Aviva? Really, really sure?”
“Yes,” I breathed, gripping his hair to pull him in for another kiss. “Fuck me, Evan. Make me feel nothing but you for a little while.”
Chapter37
Aviva
Evan knew his way around a woman’s body. He was apparently also going to talk me through the entire process, which should be annoying but was somehow arousing.
“I’m going to take your dress off now, Chaos. I’m going to see all that creamy skin that has taunted my dreams for so many fucking nights.” That last bit was more muttered at himself than at me, but as he unzipped my dress, I didn't ask questions about how many nights he’d been thinking about me.
He peeled my dress down, and his eyes were hooded with lust. He sucked in a gasp as he realized I wasn’t wearing a bra, and my breasts spilled out into the moonlit room. “So goddamn beautiful.”
He kissed down my collarbone and over the swell of my left breast. I tugged at his shirt, letting him know what I wanted too. He threw off his jacket, unbuttoning his shirt, and my clumsy fingers helped him along. I wanted to touch his chest, feel the thudding of his heart beneath my palm.
As I reached for the button of his dress pants, he stilled my hand. “Thirty-four. I’m thirty-four. I'm more than a decade older than you. Fuck, this is wrong.”
He went to move away, but I gripped his pants. “How do you see me?”
“You’re too damn young. I’m a fucking predator.”
I laughed, because I couldn’t help it. “I’m old enough to drive, drink, vote, and go to war, Evan. I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to pick my own sexual partners.”
“You’re depressed. What kind of monster does that make me? Using you like this?”
