Page 74 of Inside the Maelstrom: Part One
“No buts. I forgive you.” She paused. “Okay, one but. You aren’t ready for what your heart wants to give me. Maybe I’m not ready either. We were always just tinder in a box, just waiting for a spark to burn our shit to the ground. I know it, you know it. Otto knows it.”
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“Well, you don’t get a damn choice in the matter, so suck it up and take it.” She grabbed the bottle and knocked it back.
I laughed, remembering why she fucking stole my heart in the first place, like a thief in the night. “Little klepto.” Let her think I meant the booze and not my heart. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I was fairly sure I’d never be the same after this. “You could still patch things up with Otto and Sampson. You don’t have to cut them all out,” I said softly, and hoped she couldn't hear the sound of my pain.
“Nah. You guys are a package deal.” She looked up at me, her pretty blue eyes filled with too much wisdom and drowning in pain. “You need them too, Hendrick. Even more than me. Otto would never be happy with just me, because you’re his first love. Sampson…” She trailed off, and I knew what she was thinking.
I turned my head and kissed her temple. “He’ll forgive you. Though, as Otto pointed out when he was verbally eviscerating us, there's nothing to forgive. No one made any commitment outside us all being on this cursed trip. You can fuck whoever you want against a wall.”
She jammed her elbow into my ribs. “Thanks for your permission.”
We let silence consume us again, and it was beautiful. Heartbreaking perfection. I would remember this moment forever, suspended on a knife's edge between life and death. Happiness and pain.
I felt the cool trickle of Aviva’s tears on my arm, but I pretended that I didn’t. I could tell her that this wasn’t the end, that it wasn’t goodbye, but that would be one more lie. There wasn’t any need for lies between us anymore.
“Drix! Viva!” Otto’s panicked voice made me turn, and I saw him frantically walking toward us, probably to drag us from the edge. I smiled at him, and his feet stilled.
“It’s okay, Otto. We’ll come in now.” I slid back, swinging my legs back from the edge. Aviva grabbed my arm, anchoring me to the roof. Or maybe I was anchoring her.
I laughed at the irony. Pulling her to my chest, I kissed her softly. “I’m sorry again.”
She smiled up at me, her eyes red and puffy. “I’m not.”
When we got close to Otto, I leaned forward and kissed him too. “Safe and sound, Otto. I’ll just be in my room, packing.”
I felt Otto’s eyes watching me until I was inside the stairwell, like he was worried I wasn’t really going inside, and instead just getting a good run up. I slowly descended the stairs and let myself into my room. Sampson was back, his eyes taking me in, ensuring I was in one piece.
“Otto was worried.”
“Not you?”
Sampson shook his head. “Sometimes, I think maybe you’ve got your shit together more than the rest of us combined.”
I scoffed, because that was the craziest thing I’d heard ever. “We’re all just fuckups, making shit up as we go along, Sam. I just embrace it better.” He let out a grunt of agreement. When the silence settled over us again, I turned away. “I’m going to shower.”
I undressed, set the water to scalding and climbed in. Once I was sure that the water was hot enough to wash away my sins, I let the tears fall down my cheeks. God, I should have brought the sake into the shower to numb the pain. Then I remembered Aviva still had the bottle.
A little laugh escaped me as I realized she’d managed to keep my booze and my heart forever. Bitch.
Chapter40
Aviva
My chest felt like it had been through a meat grinder. Seeing Hendrick up on the roof, teetering on the edge, had sent panic unlike anything I’d ever felt before shooting through my veins. But in the end, our goodbye had been much like our first meeting—all kinds of fucked up.
That was the nature of Hendrick, I think, and maybe me too.
I packed my stuff, and each item of clothing that I folded and placed into my bag was like a dagger to my heart. I’d have to get rid of it all when I returned to the US; I’d never be able to wear any of it again without thinking of Sampson and the betrayed look on his face.
A knock at the door had my heart pounding, and I sucked a deep breath as I opened it. On the other side stood Evan, and I gasped as I took in the mass of bruises on his face. “Holy shit, Evan. Are you okay?”
He gave me a soft smile. “It’s nothing. Can I come in?”
“I think you already did that last night,” I said, then immediately slapped a hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry. That was terrible. God, why is this so awkward?” I stood to the side so he could enter the suite.
A laugh burst from his chest, and he shook his head. “It’s been a long twenty-four hours.”
