Page 75 of Inside the Maelstrom: Part One
When he was chest to chest with me, he paused, leaning down to brush the softest kiss across my lips. When he pulled back, I just stared up at him. Hell. What did I do? What did I say? Why wasn’t I better at this?
He frowned, reading my silence as something else. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed—” I lifted up on my toes and kissed him hard, without any finesse whatsoever.
“No, it’s fine. I mean, it's good. Ugh.” I walked to the bed and just threw myself facedown onto the mattress, silently screaming. When I was calmer, I sat up, looking at Evan where he still stood near the door. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, crossing the floor to me in two huge strides. “No, Aviva. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should have had better restraint. Protected you better. Not taken advantage of how vulnerable you were. Fuck, so many things I should have done better.” He waved his hand at his face. “I deserved this.”
I frowned. “We’ve been over this. I’m not stupid—I knew what I was doing. I’m a consenting adult. I’m depressed, not crazy.” I grinned. “Maybe I should have protectedyoubetter. I’m the one who’s been fucking a whole friend group. I could have given you the clap. Besides, you got me Plan B. I mean, it might be protection after the fact, but it still counts.”
He gave me an unamused look. “Don’t talk about yourself like that, Chaos. We both know what you feel for those three isn’t casual lust. I’ve been watching it from the outside.” He paused. “And Plan B isn’t a hundred percent effective.”
I screwed up my nose. “Are you about to give me the afterschool special about contraception? Because I can promise you, I was a straight A student. Pretty sure I aced that Health class in high school, and can put condoms on a banana like a champion. Apparently, it's just dicks I struggle with.”
“Aviva,” he rumbled. He had a great voice. Deep and growly. I kind of loved how he said my name. Not as much as I loved how he moaned ‘Chaos,’ but it was close.
“Tell me what you need to say, Evan. Rip it off like a bandaid.” I was waiting for the inevitable ‘this was a mistake, you’re too young, I’m too old, it can never happen again’ spiel. I’d hardened myself to the words already. I’d had this entire conversation in my head twelve times since last night.
“Sampson fired me. I’d like to stay with you, if you want that too.”
Well, plot twist. I hadn’t planned for that in any of my imaginary scenarios. I blinked at him, trying to wade past my shock. “He fired you for having sex with me?” He nodded. “I can’t pay you to be my security.”
He growled, and dragged me into his arms. “I don’t want you to pay me. I don’t want to be your bodyguard, Chaos.” He let go of me and stepped away, running his fingers through his hair. “I like you, despite the fact that trouble follows you like a magnet. You’re something special, and if you want to as well, I’d like to see where we go. Even if it is only until the end of this trip and then you go back to your old life.” He grunted and turned away. “I’m fucking this up, putting you on the spot. I’m shit at words. Pressuring you again.”
I raised my hand. “If you could take a break from the brooding self-flagellation for a moment, I seem to remember that it was me putting the pressure on you.” I reached out, grabbing his shoulder that still bore the gouges from my nails peeking out above the collar. “Are you just sticking around to make sure I’m not knocked up? Because I promise to call you if I am. I don’t know fucking jack shit about babies.”
A smile curled his lips. “No. Not just for that.”
I bit my lip. “The guys didn’t put you up to this? Otto?”
He shook his head. “No. Well, both Otto and Hendrick approached me about it, but I’d already decided I want to court you.”
I snorted. Who the hell ‘courted’ anymore?
He gave me an exasperated expression. “I know it sounds old school, but you know what I mean. This is whatIwant, if you want it too.”
I sucked in a few deep breaths, looking up into his brown eyes that seemed to swirl with emotion. Earnestness was so refreshing, yet terrifying. The thing about the other guys was that we’d always expected it to end badly. It didn’t feel like Evan was going into this with quite the same pessimistic outlook.
So despite the age difference, the tumultuousness of our beginnings, and the fact my heart still belonged partially to three men I’d never have, I found myself saying, “I’d like that.”
A sigh of relief flowed from between his pretty lips, and he gave me a genuine smile. Leaning forward, he kissed me hard. “Thank fuck.”
It didn’t seem real until we were all standing in the lobby of the hotel, two different cabs waiting for us. I stepped into Otto’s arms, and he pulled me tightly to his chest. I could hear the pound of his heart, even though mine was breaking. But I held it together, barely.
“Be good, Viva. Call me if you need anything, anything at all. Hell, message me every day anyway.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m going to miss you, sweetheart.”
My eyes welled, and I blinked them rapidly. “I’ll miss you too.”
I pulled away, swallowing the lump in my throat, as Hedrick grabbed me up in his arms. “Bye, Viva. Live long, okay?” He kissed my temple, his arms encompassing me against his solid warmth. Despite the fact he’d been the detonator for this relationship, I found it hard to stay mad at him.
“It’s not goodbye forever, Hendrick.”
He just made a low humming noise, holding me tighter before letting me go. I stepped back, looking over at Sampson. I swallowed back the emotion, clenching my back teeth to keep my face from crumpling.
“Bye, Sampson.”
He gave me a half-smile. “Be good.”
The pain in his eyes tore at my heart, but he was the first to move away, his eyes snagging on Evan who stood a few feet behind me. I was stealing the one constant in his life, and I felt miserable. They all climbed into the cab, and I watched the car pull out into traffic. The other bodyguards were on point until Sampson made it back to the States, where the rest of Evan’s team could pick up the slack.
