Page 17 of The Biker's Second Chance
I enfold Gina in my arms, and it doesn't take long until she's breathing heavily. I pull her close, wanting to feel her against me as I sleep. As I drift off, a deep feeling of contentment settles into my heart. It feels like finally I’ve come home.
8
GINA
My head's throbbing when I wake up, and my mouth’s bone dry. I don't know if it’s from the whiskey or dehydration from crying so much.
Telling Sean about the miscarriage was like a weight lifting off my shoulders, and making love to him felt like part of that release.
It was lovely and tender and everything I remember. I feel lighter and like maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance for us.
I roll over, wanting to snuggle into him, but the other side of the bed’s empty.
“Sean?”
I lift myself onto my elbows so I can see all the corners of the room. But he’s not there. I try not to be disappointed; he must have gotten up before me is all.
My phone pings with an incoming message and I grab my phone eagerly, hoping it’s Sean. But it’s from Gage asking if I’m coming down to the office today. We’re meant to be going over the accounts.
I check the time and gasp when I see it’s almost 10 o’clock. I never sleep this late, ever.
I send Gage a quick reply and head to the bathroom.
Sean must have slipped out and left me sleeping. I ignore the niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’m sure there’s an explanation.
There's a glass on the vanity and I take a long drink of water, the cool liquid soothing my throat and clearing my head.
I haven't cried like that in years. I haven't allowed myself to. I feel lighter. I didn't know how good it would feel to share that burden. To tell Sean about the baby and about the loss. To collapse into his arms and let him soothe me.
No one has cared for me like that in a long time. I'm usually the one caring for everybody else. It felt so nice to share my burden, to have someone look after me for once.
I put the glass down and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I barely recognize myself. Mascara lines stain my cheeks, and my eyes are clogged with gunk from all those tears.
I push my fingers up my cheeks, moving the skin of my face around. There’re lines around my mouth that weren’t there a few years ago and a darkness that's perpetually smudged under my eyes.
When did I get so old looking?
I turn my head from side to side, looking for the carefree girl I used to be. Somewhere over the years, she vanished inside of me. I'll be thirty-four next month, and it feels like life is passing me by.
But maybe it doesn't have to be that way.
Maybe Sean coming back is a second chance. A chance to have all those things I dreamed of when I was a young girl. A good man, a home of our own, and lots of babies.
Plenty of women have children later in life these days. Thirty-four isn’t too old, is it?
But I’m getting ahead of myself. It was one night with Sean, and I’m already planning a family with him.
I laugh at myself, but I can no longer deny the feelings I have for Sean. The feelings that I’ve always had for him.
Maybe, just maybe, it's worth taking another risk. Because otherwise I'm going to be looking in the mirror in another seven years wondering what could have been.
I have a quick shower and throw on some clothes. Now that I’ve made up my mind, I want to tell Sean, tell him that I do want to give us another chance. That I think we can make it this time.
Sean’s room is the one next to mine, and I knock softly on the door. When there’s no answer, I knock again, louder this time. When there’s still no answer, I push open the door.
“Sean?”
Light streams in the window, and the bed’s made up neatly. There’re no bags. There's no clothing strung over the chair. Or any sign of Sean. I try the door to the shared bathroom, but he’s not in there. I even open the door on the other side that leads through to my room.
