Page 25 of A Runaway Bride For Christmas
She brushes the hair off my face in a rare show of tenderness.
“I don’t give a shit about the dress.”
She raises an eyebrow at my swearing but saves me the lecture. “I love him.”
I don’t expect her to understand, but I have to say the words out loud. Because that’s what I feel for Hans. I have to say it to really know what I’m giving up.
Mom smiles. “There you go. A marriage based on love is more than I ever had.”
Mom remarried a few years ago, but it didn’t last long. It turns out the asshole was only after her money. It made Mom bitter.
I shake my head. “Not Ryan, Mom. I love Hans.”
She goes still and I brace myself for the lecture, but when it doesn’t come, I turn to Mom. She’s staring straight ahead with a tissue clenched in her fists.
“I didn’t realize it was like that, Allie.”
Her expression is softer than it’s been in months, like the kinder mom she used to be before all the stress. “I thought he was just a fling to you.”
I shake my head. “No Mom. We love each other.”
At least, I think we do. The connection we shared was so strong it can’t be anything else.
Mom gives a big sigh. “I had no idea, Allie.”
“Would it make a difference?” I can’t hide the bitterness in my voice. Mom’s made mistakes in her life, and now I’m paying for them. A few months ago that seemed like the action of a dutiful daughter, but now, after a night with Hans, the price is too high.
“Yes,” Mom says, and I turn to her in shock. “Yes, it makes a difference.”
She gives a long sigh, and suddenly I notice the dark circles under her eyes, how much older she looks these days.
“I had hoped you and Ryan might find love. You get along and have some things in common. I thought over time you might learn to love each other.”
She stands up and paces. “That’s how I justified it to myself. What I was asking of you.”
She takes my hands in her and crouches down next to me on the bed.
“My intention was never to make you miserable, Allie. If you’re in love with someone else, then no, you shouldn’t marry Ryan.”
My stomach flips at what she’s saying. If I don’t marry Ryan, then I can be with Hans. But then Mom will go bankrupt, and her fraud will be discovered. At best she’ll be a social pariah, and at worst, she’ll go to prison.
“But your debts…”
Mom shakes her head. “I got myself into this mess, Allie. I need to face the music. I thought this was a good solution that you’d eventually be happy with. But I can’t make you miserable for my own gain.”
She stands up and goes to look out the window. “If you don’t want to marry Ryan, I won’t make you.”
“There are other ways, Mom. I’ll get a job and give you the money. We can ask Dad for a loan.”
“No,” she says quickly. “I won’t ask your father.”
“But he’ll help. Despite what you two went through, he’ll still help you.”
She turns, and her lips are set in a tight line. “I can’t, Allie. I have my pride.”
I take her hands, and they’re trembling.When did she get so frail?
“We’ll find a way, Mom. I won’t let you down.”
