Page 9 of A Secret Baby for Christmas
The Christmas tree lights are on, and Chloe’s sitting in one of the chairs with Hugo at her breast. My heart stops. It’s a perfect vision of motherhood. My woman and my son. Except neither of them is truly mine. Not yet.
She looks up at me and smiles, the first unguarded look she’s given me since she’s been back.
“Does he ever sleep?” I try to remember what Allie was like at that age, but it was so long ago.
“He’s a hungry boy. If I feed him now, he might sleep through till five or six.”
That explains the tiredness under her eyes. It can’t be easy being a young mom, especially doing it on her own.
I crouch down in front of her. My hands instinctively go to her shoulders, needing to touch her.
“Chloe, why didn’t you tell me?”
She looks up at me and sticks her chin out, her eyes defiant. “Tell you what?”
I sit back, momentarily startled. She’s not going to admit I’m the father.
“Come on. He’s mine. I know he’s mine. The dates match. And he’s got my dark hair and the same little frown.”
She lowers her eyes with a big sigh, giving in.
“I didn’t know how to tell you.”
Hugo finishes nursing and Chloe puts him over her shoulder, rubbing him gently to get rid of the gas. He looks sleepy, and I hold my arms out.
“May I?”
Chloe hands me the baby. He’s so tiny and warm. I pull him close to me, and his little face screws up in a yawn as his eyes close. I touch his downy hair with my fingertips, so soft and so dark.
“He’s beautiful. Perfect.”
I smile down at the little face, and my heart opens. This is what I want. I want my son. I just have to convince Chloe to let me back into her life.
“He’s falling asleep.”
“I’ll put him down in his crib.” She reaches out her hands for him, and reluctantly I hand him over.
Chloe’s staying in the room by the kitchen, and I follow her in there. There’s no way I’m giving up this opportunity to speak to her alone. I watch her put Hugo down in the crib and tuck him in. He’s asleep already, and we both sneak out the door.
“Drink?” I ask, pouring myself a bourbon.
Chloe shakes her head. “I don’t drink much these days.”
Of course she doesn’t. Not while she’s breast-feeding.
I pour myself a drink, and we sit on the sofa with the Christmas tree lights flashing red and green against her pale skin.
She’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, more beautiful in the flesh than in the fantasies I’ve had about her for the past year. So many questions run through my mind and so many doubts.
I decide to start at the beginning, with the question that’s been running through my head all year before I knew about Hugo.
“Why did you leave?”
When I woke up the morning after our incredible night together, Chloe was gone. I didn’t even get a chance to tell her how I felt.
She sighs, long and hard. “Because I’d just thrown myself at you. I seduced you and it felt like a win at the time, but I didn’t want to stay around for the rejection afterwards.”
Her words pierce my heart. Did she really think that’s all she meant to me?
