Page 12 of Wild Forever
Trauma manifests itself in different ways. For Karen, it was being carefree with her body. For me, well, it got me into the situation I’m in: deemed unfit to be guardian of my own niece.
A hollowness gnaws at my chest, and my fingers itch to relieve it some way. I close my eyes and suck in deep breaths as I count, the way I learned to do at the clinic.
In a few minutes, I’m calm again and in control.
My thoughts drift to the bearded man with the kind eyes and mischievous smile. As sleep claims me, I think about his arm around me, his searching eyes, and his scent which permeates my dreams.
The next morning, I’m waiting outside when Grant pulls up in his Kia. He called earlier, inviting me to spend the day with him and Bailey. I’m beyond relieved that he’s giving me a chance, and I’m determined not to fuck it up.
Bailey’s sleeping in the car seat and I get into the passenger side and close the door quietly, trying not to wake her.
“Don’t worry,” he assures me. “Once she’s out, she’s out. She won’t wake now until she’s ready.”
I turn in my seat to look at my niece. Her little head rests on the back of the car seat and her mouth parts, letting out gentle snores.
“She’s adorable.”
Grant grunts, and a smile tugs on his lips.
“She is.”
We drive further up the mountain, and he pulls onto a gravel road that leads to a parking lot and the start of hiking trails.
“I hope you bought your walking shoes.”
He turns off the engine and checks Bailey in the rearview mirror. She’s still sleeping.
“Do we wake her?”
“Noooo.” He shakes his head emphatically. “Never wake a sleeping baby. She’ll wake on her own soon. Then we’ll have a couple of hours to walk and picnic before I need to get her home for her afternoon nap.”
I’m impressed by his schedule; he really knows what he’s doing.
“So what do we do?”
He adjusts his seat so it leans back. “We wait.” He turns to me, and I get the full effect of his intense gaze. “And while we wait for her to wake up, you can tell me exactly why you’re here and why the sudden interest in your niece.”
I try not to let it show how much his words dismay me. I was hoping we’d get the day together first before I had to tell him the truth.
I choose my words carefully. “I thought if we talked face to face, we might be able to work something out.”
He nods. “That makes sense. I haven’t been easy to get a hold of.”
I’m surprised he’s admitting that, and it shows he’s prepared to be reasonable. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?”
His brow furrows. “Because I thought you were trying to take my daughter away from me.”
I look away because I kind of was, but now that I’ve seen them together, I know how impossible that is. The best I can hope for now is to have my niece in my life somehow, but it’s clear to me her father won’t be giving her up.
I search my heart and find that I’m okay with that.
“The truth is, I didn’t know what kind of a man you were,” I say honestly. “My sister…”
I pause, not wanting to speak ill of the dead. I love my sister and I’m not judging her choices, but… “My sister had a wild side.”
Grant nods. “I know.”
A flash of jealousy rages through my veins. My sister was in Grant’s arms. He pinned her down, not me. He kissed her and… I squeeze my eyes shut tight, not wanting to think about what they must have done together.
