Page 29 of My Mountain Man Grump
“Yeah, that’s what he said his name is. Obviously I told him I didn’t know a Carrie…”
“It’s okay.” I smooth down my hair and glance at Suzie. She’s got a frown on her face.
“One day you’ll tell me what really went down in Montana, Carrie, because I don’t believe a single word you’ve said.”
I move to the door, and Suzie and Ethan follow.Ethan goes from amiable friend to growly big brother protector in a second.
“You want me to deal with him, Carrie?” He cracks his knuckles, and my eyes go wide in alarm.
“No.” I put a hand over his fist. “Thank you. I’ll talk to him.”
“Carrie…” Suzie puts a hand on my shoulder and I turn to her, expecting disapproval. “You’ve got crumbs around your mouth.”
I brush cookie crumbs from my lips, and Suzie smiles at me. Then her look turns serious. “Make him grovel for whatever he did.”
They go to follow me out the door, and I hold my hands up. “Where are you guys going?”
“I’m not missing this,” Suzie says.
Ethan, despite being sworn off women, grins like a schoolgirl. “Me neither.”
Cole looks too big for the Search and Rescue headquarters. His bulk fills the space, and seeing him again takes my breath away.
His hair is wild, and there are dark smudges under his eyes. When he sees me his face lights up and a smile creeps across it, only to falter when I cross my arms. Suzie’s right. Whatever he’s come here for, I’m not going to run to him like he didn’t hurt me.
“Why are you here, Cole?” It comes out colder than I intended, and he winces. It’s been four days since I left his place, four days with a sore heart.
“I fucked up.” He swallows and looks around theroom. Suzie, Ethan, and Mathias stand watching us, not even pretending not to be listening in.
“Can we go somewhere to talk?”
It takes all my restraint not to run into his arms. I don’t need to talk. I just need him to hold me and tell me he wants me. But instead I nod my head once. “We can go to my place.”
Cole has a rental car, and I slide into the passenger seat and direct him to my place.
I sneak glances at his profile. It doesn’t look like he’s slept in a few days, and I long to run my hands through his hair to smooth it down.
We pull up outside my house, and I take him through to the living room. I sit on the sofa, but Cole paces the room.
His hands run through his hair, and he takes a long shuddery breath.
“I’ve been a fucking idiot.” Hope flares inside me at his words. “I miss you, Carrie. I didn’t mean to catch feelings for you, but I did. I lied when I said you don’t deserve a man like me. I thought I was the problem, but I realized something. I’m scared to risk my heart because it’s not just my heart I risk. It’s the girls’ hearts too.”
He stops pacing and stares out the window at the mountain that looms over the town.
“When they lost their mother, they were heartbroken. They didn’t know what was happening or why she wasn’t coming home. Her passing broke their little hearts.”
My chest tightens at the thought of Kyra and Olivia, and I understand why Cole’s so protective of them.
“It’s not that I’m scared of letting you down. I’m scared of what will happen if this doesn’t work out. That’s why I pushed you away.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “But then you left. And I’ve never felt so desolate.”
“I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, Cole. It terrifies me too. But I also know we have no promise of a tomorrow, so you’ve got to enjoy the time you have.”
He crouches next to me and takes my hands in his. “I love you, Carrie. I didn’t want to, but ever since I saw you in your Guns N Roses t-shirt and green skirt, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I love the way you sing while you’re baking, I love the way you keep smiling even when you find out I’m an asshole, and I love that you sent a picture of your boobs to my Gran. I love that you put a positive spin on everything.
“I’m terrified I’ll lose you, but I’m more terrified I’ll go the rest of my life and never feel the way I feel when I’m with you. You make my heart beat stronger, Carrie, you make my smile bigger and my laugh deeper.” He squeezes my hand. “Not to mention what you do to other parts of me.”
