Page 24 of A SEAL's Heart
He frowns and looks away, and I know I’ve got it right.
I lean forward. “You might drool, you might spit, it will not be pretty, but you’re not going to give up because of that.”
He grunts and grabs the notepad from his pocket.
Can’t I just not talk to people ever again?
When I glance up his eyes are dancing, and I laugh.
“I want to hear your voice, Ed. I want to hear what you’ve got to say to the world.”
I still can’t believe a badass SEAL who survived hell week is worried about how he’ll look when he re-learns to speak. Unless it’s me. Maybe he doesn’t want me to see his recovery.
The thought has my tummy fluttering in an unprofessional way. Does Ed care that much what I think?
“If it makes you feel better, I won’t watch.”
He grunts, and I take that for assent.
This time, when it’s his turn to try the exercise, I turn away so my back is to Ed. After a beat, I hear the strain of Ed’s voice behind me. He’s making the vowel sounds, and when I turn back, we’re both grinning.
“I want you to practice at home every day.”
I print out the exercises for him, and when he takes them our fingers brush. Heat jumps up my arm, and I pull away.
“I’ll come by tonight to help with Jake’s things.”
He nods and slips out the door.
13
AVERY
Later that evening, I stand in front of Jake’s bookcase holding a cardboard box. It’s one of those box style shelves that reaches from floor to ceiling, and each box is filled with pieces of Jake. Not only books, but there are also photographs in frames, albums, a cactus plant, sports trophies, and other knick knacks that meant something to my brother.
I turn to find Ed watching me. He’s given me two boxes: one to fill with items I want to keep and one for the charity auction.
He scribbles something on his notepad and holds it up to me.
You okay?
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Nothing about this is okay, but it needs to be done, and I’d rather go through Jake’s things then make Mom have to do it.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I will be.”
I start on the bottom left and work my way from bottom to top.
The books are easy. They’re military related with some hunting and travel books, and I pile them up for Ed to go through later and take the ones he wants.
I take the cactus. It’s the only plant in the house aside from the peace lily I gave Ed. I imagine Jake giving it a few drops of water whenever he was back. If he can keep it alive from halfway around the world, then I can.
The photographs are hard. I take them all down together and stack them up before looking through them.
There are a lot of military photos. Jake in his Navy uniform when he first signed up, a wide grin across his boyish face. Another show a group of guys in Navy uniforms who I don’t recognize. There’s a family photo taken when he graduated basic training and joined the Navy.
But there are none from when he joined the SEALs. Part of the deal is to not talk about being a SEAL, and Jake took that to heart. Him and Ed were at BUD/s together, and he once told me that if it hadn’t been for Ed beside him through hell week, he’s not sure he would have made it.
