Page 42 of A SEAL's Heart
I shrug. It’s a question I’ve asked myself many times. But the only person who knows the answer to that abandoned me a long time ago.
“Oh,” Avery says again.
She reaches for the remote and hits pause. “I don’t think I want to watch this now.”
She turns back to me, and there’s compassion in her eyes. But I don’t want her pity.
Whatever happened to me as a kid made me the man I am. It made me resilient enough to become a Navy SEAL. It made me tough enough to know life doesn’t work out how you want it to. I learned early that life isn’t fair, and you don’t always get what you want.
But there’s only one thing I want now: to make love to Avery one last time.
My hand reaches for her cheek, and I cup her face in my hands. I’ll miss her smooth skin and gentle lips. I’ll miss her sweet scent of citrus and her silky hair.
I’ll miss all of her. But it’s the right thing to do, to let her go.
Avery deserves someone who fits into her life, someone who can joke with her family and look good in the family photos on the wall. I’ll always be disfigured and brooding, and she deserves sunlight and laughter. I’ll always remind her of her brother, and when the truth comes out, she’ll hate me.
I run my hand through her soft hair, committing the feel to memory.
All I need is just one more time. One more time with Avery, then I’ll tell her I’m leaving.
I pull her on top of me and kiss her hard. My hands tangle in her hair as I draw her to me.
I undress her slowly, kissing every part of her body. She arches her back under my touch, and her whimpering noises lodge in my brain.
Knowing it will be the last time, I take my time, caressing every part of her perfect curvy body. Imprinting every fold, every crevice, every inch of her to memory. I close my eyes, savoring her taste, her scent, and the way she moans when I suck her nipples.
Her hands slide my t-shirt off, and then we’re naked together on the bed. Our bodies come together, and her legs wrap around my back.
When I slide into Avery for the last time, I keep our eyes locked. I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life: the closest I’ll ever get to loving a woman I don’t deserve.
22
AVERY
The steady thwack of a hammer wakes me the next morning. I roll over in bed, disoriented by the unfamiliar bedsheets. Then I remember where I am, and a smile spreads over my face. I must have fallen asleep last night after we made love. It’s the first time I’ve stayed at Ed’s, and my stomach flutters thinking about what that might mean.
I’ll have to do the walk of shame across the street and face questions from Mom, although I suspect she already knows what’s been going on. I’ve spent so much time over here.
Ed’s side of the bed is empty, and I wonder if that has anything to do with the steady thump of a hammer that ricochets through my skull.
It’s coming from somewhere outside, and I pull the curtain back to look. Through the condensation on the window, I glimpse a figure in the front yard. There’s a man in a suit hammering a post with a sign attached to it into the ground out in front of Ed’s house.
I bunch my fist and wipe the window, clearing a steak through the condensation.
I squint at the sign and make out the wordsFor Sale.
My fist freezes on the windowpane. Ed’s selling the house.
Realization hits me like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t clearing out Jake’s things just for the auction. He was clearing them out because he has no intention of staying. He’s going to sell the house and leave town.
My hand shakes as I drop the curtain. Nothing we’ve done together means anything to Ed. I’ve been a fool. I’ve fallen for him and he doesn’t feel the same, which is what Paige warned me about.
I dress quickly and head downstairs. The bare walls take on a sinister new meaning. Ed isn’t going to redecorate, because Ed won’t be living here.
The door bangs open and Ed and the suit stare at me, startled.
“You’re selling the house?” I storm over to Ed, not caring that my bare feet sink into the wet grass.
