Page 13 of Broken By Silence
Roman nearly died trying to protect her.
Elijah killed for her.
Oscar protects her.
And Archer saved her.
And me?
Nothing.
I feel my chest cave in. I’m still standing, but it doesn’t feel like I deserve to.
Roman is watching me now. Green eyes watching me shatter in front of everyone. There’s no blame—just exhaustion. He’s given enough of his life to our mistakes already, and I could never pay him back for the amount of times he’s saved mine. Putting himself in his father’s way to save my ass when I was doing stupid shit while high.
And Lottie?
She’s got Archer’s hand on her thigh, Oscar’s shoulder brushing against hers, and I’m just here.
The boy who was too blind to see that she was suffering, when I was supposed to be the person who got it, because we were cut from the same cloth. Children of people who chose drugs over us… and yet I still turned to the very thing that made me an orphan to cope with losing her.
“Why?” The words fall out of me before I can catch them, raw and hoarse. “Why did you fake your death?”
Lottie’s shining brown eyes cut to mine, and a horrible keening sound comes from her mouth as she collapses into Archer’s hold. There’s only sound and pain in this room, and it feels like it’s cutting me apart.
I feel frozen in place. I want to move toward her, hold her, say something, anything, but I’m rooted here like a statue built of shame.
“We failed you,” I say quietly, like maybe admitting it will lift the pressure pressing against my chest. “We all did, but I wish you would have spoken to us before you disappeared entirely.”
Roman shifts in his hospital bed, pain flickering in his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything. He looks between all of us with something like hollow resignation on his face.
“She faked her death because of us, Crew. Because we didn’t protect her like we promised.”
“No,” Archer cuts in.
Everyone turns toward him, and he stands, jaw locked, shoulders taut like he’s barely holding himself back. He guides Lottie to Oscar, who takes her willingly into his arms and rubs her back.
“She didn’t fake it.”
“What?” Roman asks, sitting up straighter despite the IV tugging at his arm.
I feel myself shaking. Whatever he’s about to say is about to tear us all apart, and I stand there. Rooted to the spot like a coward.
A ghost with a heartbeat.
“She jumped,” Archer’s voice cracks, his jaw clenches. “Into the ocean. She was going to end it.”
Lottie exhales, like breathing physically hurts, slow and shaking. Her arms wrap around herself, as if she can make her body smaller than her grief. She doesn’t move. Her eyes are on the floor, tears falling silently.
“You’re lying,” Elijah shakes his head in denial. “She faked it. That’s what she told us. That faking her death was the only way out.”
“I found her. The waves dragged her under. Her lips were blue, and she wasn’t breathing when I pulled her out.”
I feel like I’ve been punched, and I can’t get enough air into my lungs, no matter how hard I try.
“You were just going to let us believe you faked it?” Elijah demands. “Let us think you didn’t try to end your life because of everything we’ve done?”
Oscar’s hands move, and I hate myself for not being able to understand him.
