Page 54 of Broken By Silence
“I did,” I admit. “I acted like him. And realizing it… knowing I caused your pain, and sometimes found satisfaction in it… It nearly broke me. It made me the same monster I swore I would never be. And I hate myself for it every day.”
“So now what? I just forgive you? Move on from all of this and act like your perfect little wife?” Her voice holds more venom than I’ve ever heard. “I’ll thank you for saving Peter… for giving him a chance to finally be sober… but this? This I’ll never thank you for because it’s just another prison.”
“I don’t expect forgiveness, Mouse. I never have. I… I’m telling you all of this because you deserve to know that, while you thought no one cared, I did. I cared when it was far too late to tell you that I did, but you were always my Mouse. The girl I protected… until I didn’t,” I finally rasp out, the words trying to lodge in my throat. “I’m your husband, yes, and you are my wife.Whatever you decide, that’s what I’ll do, but I only want a chance to prove to you that I’m no longer the monster I was back then.”
“You will always be that monster, Elijah. The boy who forced me to my knees just to prove he had power over me. It took me a long time to realize thatthatwas never power. You were a coward… You were selfish. You all stole pieces of me for your own reasons, but I won’t let you anymore. You want me to be your wife? You want any chance of forgiveness? Then you stay in the shadows until I tell you you can come into the light.”
“Anything, Lottie. Whatever you need…”
She doesn’t respondat first. Her gaze stays fixed on the waves rolling outside, the rhythm of the surf syncing with her silent evaluation of me.
I feel her measuring every inch of my presence, weighing whether I am a threat or something she can tolerate. Then, ever so slightly, her fingertips hover near mine on the table. Not touching me, but close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off her skin.
I don’t move. I won’t.
I wait.
I wait until she invites me in, until she decides I can exist near her without fear.
Claire shifts finally, stepping closer, but her voice stays low, quiet, deliberate. “I mean what I say, Elijah. One wrong move…”
I incline my head. “I understand.”
Her eyes say more than her words ever could. She watches, and she will act if I fail.
I feel the weight of it pressing against my chest, but I accept it because I don’t deserve anything more than that.
We sit there,side by side, listening to the sea.
I don’t reach for her.
I don’t speak unless she speaks first.
I am her shadow, her guardian.
My presence is silent, heavy with all the apologies and promises I cannot put into words. I don’t want to overwhelm her. I want her to reclaim the space I have longed to fill with stone and apologies, the space that has been hers alone.
Every few minutes, I catch the smallest movements—a shift in her posture, the tightening of her jaw, the flicker of a tear on her cheek. Each one drives the ache in my chest deeper, a combination of longing, shame, and devotion that I cannot shake.
When Lottie finally shifts in her seat, letting out a long exhale that trembles with all the tension she has been holding, I mirror it.
I promise myself, silently, with the roar of the waves pressed against the windows, that I will be her shadow just like she’s asked me to be.
I will protect her.
I will speak only if she calls my name.
I will hold her space, even when she hates me, even when she fears me, even when she wants to disappear again.
And I swear, with everything I have left, that I will not fail her again.
Chapter 21
Roman
It’s been weeks since the bullet tore through me.
Weeks since Archer pressed his hands to my chest, while Lottie stood frozen in the doorway with her eyes wide and wet like the world was ending.
