Page 98 of Broken By Silence
“I bought it,” I repeat, and I can hear how insane it sounds. “Under an anonymous name. I didn’t want anyone to know my plans. I was going to destroy it. Level it. I wanted to erase the place where you had been broken by people who should have loved you.” Myvoice catches, as her hand comes up to cover her mouth. “I thought if I burned it to the ground, with Tracey inside, I could make the pain lessen. But I couldn’t do it.”
“Why not?”
“I went insideonce. That’s all it took. Your room still smelled like you, the horrible yellow paint was still on the walls, and the floor creaked right under your window, where I used to sneak in and hold you. I kept hearing you laugh after years of silence.” I run a hand through my hair, pacing. “So I left it standing, because I remembered that tiny room was the last place I ever held you as Tracey screamed at Peter, and I swore I would protect you.I broke that promise.”
Lottie’s quiet. Her breath is steady, but I can see her fingers trembling slightly at her side. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Nothing yet,” I murmur, voice rough. “I’m confessing my sins to you, and I need you tolisten, Lottie. Really listen.” I swallow hard, forcing the next words past the lump in my throat. “You were my Mouse once. So quiet, so soft, so small, I thought I could protect you just by keeping you hidden. But we ruined that. We took the names that once meant something gentle and turned them into weapons. We used them to break you.” My breath shudders out. “And now I can’t say them without tasting the guilt in my mouth.”
I look up at her, eyes burning.
“You’re not Mouse anymore. You’re more than what we made of you. You’re my goddess now. The only one I’ll ever worship. The only one I want to fall to my knees for. Because you’re my wife. My one. My only.”
I pick up my phone from the nightstand and hand it to her.
My final secret.
She hesitates, then takes it.
The screen glows. She scrolls once, twice, then she freezes. “What is this?” Her voice is barely a whisper.
I know what it is. On the screen are photos. Dozens… maybe hundreds.
Our wedding day, or what looks like it. Life.
Her in a white dress, me in a suit, smiles so real they could fool anyone. A church, a reception. All of it looks perfect. Believable.
Except none of it ever happened.
“I made them,” I finally break the silence. “I needed to believe I hadn’t lost you. That the ring on my finger wasn’t for a ghost. So I made a world where we got to have everything we were supposed to. I hired people, edited photos, and paid artists to make it look real. I even had an album printed.”
Her thumb brushes over the screen. Her breath trembles. “You’re insane.”
“I know.”
She looks at me then, and her eyes. God, her eyes are everything. Fury, heartbreak, and disbelief all tangled into a storm.
“I lost it after you. I thought I’d gone through every kind of pain before, butnothingcompared to losing you. So… I built this world where you were still mine. My wife. No one else’s anything, but my everything.”
The silence stretches until it hurts.
Then I sink down to my knees in front of her. The phone slips from her hand and lands on the carpet beside us. Her breath catches. “Elijah. Get up.”
“No. Hate me if you need to,” The words scrape up my throat. “Just do it to my face. I deserve it after everything I’ve done. But please, Lottie, just let me love you. Let me be free of this pretend world I created, and let me have the real thing.I need my wife.”
For a heartbeat, she doesn’t move. Then her fingers curl into my hair, pulling my head back just enough that I’m forced to meet her eyes.
It isn’t forgiveness I see. It’s fire. Grief. It’s everything that’s been buried for years, rising to the surface like a tide that won’t be stopped. Her breath trembles. “You shouldn’t call me that.”
“I know, but I can’t stop.”
Her hand tightens, but I enjoy the pain. She leans closer, herforehead nearly touching mine. “You don’t get to break everything, and then ask to love what’s left.”
“I’m already broken, Lottie,” I whisper. “All that’s left is you.”
“I’m supposed to hate you.”
“I know.”
