Page 30 of Forsworn By The Vampire
She laughed quietly. "Oh, I know."
I saw she hadn't completely lost her cockiness, and I was glad.
"It's just...this is a little awkward, ya know?"
"It doesn't have to be."
She eyed me over the teacup as she blew on the surface, saying just before she took a sip, "Still is, though."
"Yeah." I rubbed my palms together, trying to warm them up with some friction. I don't know why I always felt so damn cold lately.
"Jamal, please sit down. You're making me nervous."
"Sorry." I took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, as far from her as I could get.
She eyed the distance between us and the way my left side hugged the arm. "Am I that abhorrent?" she teased. But there was a flash of something else behind her smile. Pain. Something I knew well.
"No, not at all," I quickly tried to reassure her, but I don't know how convincing I was. I still tried, though, because the thought of causing her any kind of pain made me feel like someone had stabbed an icepick through my chest. "It's just...easier for me not to be too close to you."
"Easier how?"
But I didn't want to get into all that right now. "Look, I asked you here so we could talk about what's happened between us, and how..."—I took a breath, bracing myself—"...we're going to live with it." I clasped my hands together and looked down at the floor. I didn't want her to see the look on my face right now, because I'd think it would be kind of hard to miss the anger and disgust that was rising in me like a volcano. And the last thing I wanted was to explode all over my living room. I was attracted to her, yeah. Of course I was. And she smelled sofuckinggood. But it wasn't enough.
The fact of the matter was I now had a new master, and there was nothing...nothing...that would make mefuckingokay with this shit.
"I thought you were in denial about all of this," she said.
"Yeah, well,"—I gave an uncomfortable laugh—"I was. I tried."
"And you've finally come to the conclusion that I'm irresistible?"
I still couldn't look at her. "I've pulled my head out of my ass and realized I want to live. And to do that, I need to keep you around."
She set her tea down on the coffee table and stood. "Great. Where shall we live? Your place or mine? Of course, I'll need to sun-proof mine, so I should probably just move in here. I'll go home and pack."
I jumped to my feet as she left her teacup on the table and headed toward the door. "Whoa. Whoa. What are you talking about?" She ignored me, trying to get past, but I stepped in front of her. Her sweet, spicy scent accosted my nose and made my mouth water. It caught me off guard and it took everything I had not to pull her into my arms and sink my teeth into her graceful throat. Clenching my jaw, I held my ground. "Where are you going?"
"Home. To pack. I already told you."
A humorless laugh burst from me. "We're not moving in together, Leeloo."
She smiled, but it was forced. "Why not? You need me. I need you. It would be easier if I was here, at your beck and call anytime of the day or night."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
She dropped her eyes, but not before I saw the moisture welling inside of them. Crossing her arms over herself in a protective gesture, she shrugged. "I just think it would be easier."
"You don't even know me," I told her. "Why the hell are you so hellbent on shacking up with someone you barely even know?"
Her chin came up and her eyes locked on mine, still glassy with tears. "I know enough. I know you don't want to hurt me. And I know there's no escaping this mating for either of us, so why prolong the inevitable?"
"That's not exactly true," I told her. "I've dreamed of hurting you. Many, many times." Her eyes widened in surprise, but I kept going. It wasn't something I was particularly proud of, but maybe it was something she should hear. "I lay in bed during the day and imagine what it would feel like to suck you dry.That'show much I crave your blood."
After a moment, she asked, "What else do you dream about?"
If my confession shook her at all, she didn't show it. "Fucking you," I told her honestly. "I imagine how you taste. How you smell. How you'll feel underneath me." My eyes dropped to her feet, then slowly worked their way back to her face. And this time, I didn't bother to hide the hunger she caused. "What you look like beneath all those fancy clothes you like to wear, and how much I want to rip them off of you." I paused, wondering how much I should tell her. Then decided, fuck it. She thinks she wants to be in this with me? Then she needs to know what she's getting herself into. "I want to slap your ass with my bare palms until that pale skin is hot and pink. I want to tie you to my bed and feed from you until you're screaming for me to stop. Until your body is covered in punctures from my fangs and you're bleeding all over my bed."
She took a tiny step closer, but not like she wanted to. Like something was pulling her closer to me and she didn't even realize she'd moved. "Why do you want to do those things?"
