Page 54 of A Vampire Bewitched
He paced away and back again. “I’ve seen things…done things…in my life that weren’t exactly honorable. I’m not a good male.”
The more he spoke, the more he felt the lingering anger in her dissipate. She dropped her eyes, hiding from him as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I think you’re exaggerating. I’m not anything special.” Her jaw set and she looked up at him. “And I have to disagree with that last statement.”
Her modesty only endeared her to him more. “I’m not worthy, sweetheart. I’m not.” He speared her with his gaze. “But, when I tasted you—” His voice broke at the memory. “I tasted you, and it was all over for me. It doesn’t have to be for you.”
He held himself stiffly before her with his heart and soul outside of his body, raw and exposed. “I would never be able to have any kind of ‘arrangement’ with you, even if it were possible. I would never be able to watch you go through your life from the sidelines. Watch you have other lovers.” His lips pulled back in a snarl at the thought, and his fangs slid down in aggression. “Watch you laugh, and cry, and not be there with you. Not be able to hold you, to comfort you. You’re MINE, Emma. But I can’t have you. I don’t trust myself not to hurt you. Or worse.”
“Nik—” she faltered.
His heart pounded like it was about to jump out of his chest, but he kept going. “In a way, I’m afraid of you, Em.” Shaking his head, he denied the obvious reason why before it could be spoken. “Not because I’m dependent on your blood now. Not because I’m afraid to die. I’ve lived more than my share of lifetimes.”
She scoffed playfully at him, and he smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood. “I’m like, half your size, and human. What is there to be afraid of?”
“Exactly. You’re too fragile. I couldn’t be there all the time to protect you. What if something happened? What if it happened because ofme? What if I…” He stopped, unable to finish the thought. “I wouldn’t be able to take it, Emma. I feel more for you, in these few days I’ve known you, than I’ve ever felt for any other female. Or anyone, for that matter. I’m afraid, Em.” Then he shook his head again. “No, not afraid. I’mterrifiedof the pain of losing you. I would rather bring an end to myself and leave you to live a long, healthy, natural life than make you into my own personal feeding bag. I’ve lived a long time, had more than my share of lives. It is enough.”
“You don’t have to lose me, Nik.” Emma’s eyes glinted with frustration.
“It would happen someday. You’re too fragile. Too…human.” His voice broke with the emotions rolling through him. “And then what would I do, Em? What would I do without you? Without your smile to light up my nights? Without being able to hold you? To talk to you?” He tried for a smile, but couldn’t keep it there. “Death wouldn’t come for me soon enough.”
Emma closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his lean waist. She hugged him hard and buried her face in his chest. He barely heard her confession.
“Nikulas, I feel the same way about you, as impossible as it should be.”
His eyes fell to the top of her bright head. Allowing himself this moment to enjoy, Nik wrapped his arms around her and lovingly returning her embrace. “That’s impossible. You barely know me.” His smile was as fragile as his emotions as he teased her.
She smiled back at him. “I’m a sucker for pretty boys with cocky attitudes.”
A look of hope briefly lit up inside of him, but it fluttered out again almost immediately. “You’d have to give up your life to be with me.”
“I’m good with that,” she promised.
“What about your sister?”
“She’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. And I’d be able to visit once we get her home.”
He set her away from him. “I can’t take the chance, Em. You’ll be okay. This whole mating thing, it doesn’t affect you the way it does me. You can go on to live a long, happy, and normal life.”
“Why is this onlyyourchoice? Don’t I get a say in any of this?” She stepped back into his arms, and he didn’t have the heart or the willpower to push her away again. “I chooseyou,Nikulas. You’re just going to have to deal with it.”
“Emma.” A noise came from the tunnel and he cocked his head, listening. Pulling Emma behind him, he placed himself between her and the entrance, his body suddenly tense. But after a moment, he relaxed. “It’s Aiden.” With one last, longing look at her, he went over to get the wood Aiden had abandoned from the corner and set about making a small fire.
Dammit, Aiden. The guy had perfect fucking timing.
Aiden came around the corner into the cavern, whistling an energetic tune. “Hey, you two! Get things worked out, did we?”
No one answered him as Nik broke logs over his knee and Emma crossed her arms in front of her with a huff. “No? Still? Pity, that.” Looking back and forth between the two of them, he must have astutely deemed Emma to be the safer choice, and wandered over her way.
Nik watching his every move.
“No luck, huh?”
Sliding down the wall behind her, she sat cross-legged on the dirt packed floor. “Nope.”
Joining her, Aiden asked hopefully, “Not even just a little?”
“Yourfriend, Aiden, is a bloody Estonian bastard.”
“Yes. Yes, he is,” he commiserated with her.
