Page 46 of Discovery of the Vampire
I blinked, my thoughts scattering, and forced myself to meet his gaze as I steeled my resolve. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that this," I gestured between the two of us, staying carefully apart, "whatever this is between us, it can't happen again."
Brogan's jaw clenched. "Why not? A few minutes ago you couldn't get enough of me. You were begging me to fuck you. Begging me to domorethan fuck you."
"That's not fair," I whispered.
He stared me down for a few seconds, a muscle jumping in his jaw. Then he ran a hand through his hair. "What's really going on?"
"Nada," I answered quickly. Perhaps too quickly. "Nothing."
He tilted his head, his green eyes never leaving my face as he studied me. Something tickled behind my eyes, and it took me a second to realize what it was. "Stop it," I ordered. "Get out of my head, vampire."Please get out of my head.I had no idea how to block a vampire from reading my thoughts.
"You might as well tell me, darlin'. Because we're not leaving this bathroom until you do, even if I have to find out for myself."
"That's an invasion of my privacy."
"I don't give a fuck."
It would be so much easier to give in and tell him, but I couldn't let myself waver. Not when his life was at stake. If I told him about the book, he'd insist on helping me, and I couldn't let him get involved. But maybe I could tell him enough to make him respect my wishes. "We can't be together, Brogan. It's too dangerous."
"Dangerous how?" he demanded, pushing off the wall to step closer to me. "Is this about the djinn? Because I can protect you.” He frowned. “Somehow. But I swear I won't let anything happen to you."
I appreciated his sincerity, but I wasn't stupid, and neither was he. We couldn't win against Marcus, and we both knew it. "You can't protect me from this," I whispered, my voice thick with the tears that I refused to let fall. “You told me so yourself. No one can."
“Please. Talk to me. Let me help you."
I closed my eyes, fighting back tears. "I don't want your help, Brogan. I don't want you involved in any of this."
"Why not?" he asked, frustration evident in his tone.
"Because I don't want you to get hurt!" I burst out, my eyes flying open to meet his. "Don't you get it? Marcus is here. He’s here! And he won’t just come after me. He'll go after anyone I care about. Anyone who tries to help me. I can't let him get to you."
Understanding dawned in Brogan's eyes, followed by a fierce determination. "I'm not afraid of Marcus, Esme. I can take care of myself."
"Then you’re a fool!"
"Es—" He moved closer, reaching for me.
"I'm sorry," I cut him off, taking a step back. "But I can't do this. It's better if we just end things now, before someone gets hurt."
He stared at me for a long moment, a muscle ticking in his jaw. "My life is my own. Not yours. I can decide who's worth risking it for."
I swallowed hard, forcing the words out past the lump in my throat. "This is what I want."
He stared at me long and hard. "You're lying."
I met his piercing gaze briefly before looking away, my heart clenching at the hurt and confusion in his eyes. "I'm not lying," I insisted, even as my voice wavered. "This is for the best."
"For who?" he demanded, leaning toward me and lowering his head to catch my eyes with his. "Because from where I'm standing, it sure as hell doesn't seem like the best thing for either of us."
I shook my head, losing the fight with my heart as tears overflowed and slid down my cheeks. "You don't understand."
"Then make me fucking understand, because I'm not just going to walk away from you without a damn good reason."
I should never have said anything, and I’d almost said too much. I'd never get him to leave now. I needed to think of something else. "I was too scared to tell you no," I lied.
He stilled, raising horrified eyes to mine. "What did you just say?"
I pressed my fingers to my eyes, wiping away the moisture, my resolve nearly crumbling under the intensity of his gaze. This was a horrible thing to do, but it was the only way I could think of to throw him off. "What just happened between us," I began, my voice barely above a whisper. "In the alley..."
