Page 53 of Discovery of the Vampire
"No," I told him, crossing my arms. "I want you to start talking."
He stared at me for a long moment. "Okay," he finally agreed. Then he took a long breath. "How much, exactly, do you know about vampires?"
"I only know my grandmother told me.” But an inkling suspicion began to take form.
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, she probably didn't know. Hell,weeven thought it was a myth until it started happening to us."
"WHAT started happening, Brogan?"
His eyes never left me as he geared himself up for whatever the hell he was about to tell me. "I've chosenyou, Esme. And only you."
I stared at him, waiting for him to say more. "What are you saying?"
"I choose you," he repeated. His eyes burrowed into mine, like he was trying to make me understand something he wasn't saying.
But I knew. He wanted me to be what Lizzy was to Killian. “So choose someone else," I insisted, crossing my arms over my chest. The red fabric of my blouse suddenly felt too tight, too constricting. I couldn't be his mate or whatever the hell he was talking about. I was leaving. Soon. Going somewhere far, far away.
But would it be so bad?
I shut down that voice fast. Because yes, it would be very bad. For both of us. My feelings for him didn't matter. Not if I wanted him to stay alive.
He laughed, but there was no humor in it. "It doesn't work that way, darlin'."
"Have you tried?"
He seemed surprised by my reply. "Have I…?" He frowned down at me. "I don't have to. I know."
But I wasn't so easily put off. "How do you know if you haven't tried?"
Anger tightened his jaw and flashed in his eyes. "Are you saying you want me to drink from someone else? To fuck someone else?"
My blood burned as it rushed into my face. No. No, I absolutely didnotwant that. Not after knowing firsthand how intimate it was for a vampire to feed from you. How closely the two were tied. How he felt inside of me. I opened my mouth to lie, but the words died on my tongue before I could speak them. "No," I admitted softly as tears filled my eyes. "No, I don't want that."
"Then what the helldoyou want?"
What did I want? I wanted this entire nightmare to go away. I wanted to be back in my home in Mexico. I wanted my family to be alive. I wanted my life the way it was!
But then you would've never met HIM.
That crack inside of me split open wider at the thought. But it didn't matter. It would've been better if I'd never stumbled into that club on Bourbon Street. At least then, his life wouldn't be in danger. Lizzy's life wouldn't be in danger. And I would be far, far away from the djinn.
Brogan cocked his head the way he did when he was trying to figure out what I was thinking, searching my face, the anger gone as quickly as it had appeared. "What's this really all about, darlin'?"
I wanted to tell him. I truly did. But… "Nothing," I lied. "I'm just trying to understand."
He inched closer to me, almost as though he couldn't help himself, and brushed the back of his knuckles along my cheek and down the side of my throat, along my artery. "If I could go back in time and change this, I would. Please believe me." His eyes searched my face, and when he spoke again, it was almost as if he was talking to himself. "And I can still give you a choice. I can't bring myself to walk away from you. But you can."
There was something he wasn't telling me. I felt it all the way to my bones. "What about you? What will happen to you if I leave?”
At first he just stared at me, memorizing my face. Then he stepped back. "Nothing. I’ll be just fine, darlin'. Eventually." He held out his hand. "Come on, I'll walk you home."
A bit disconcerted, I allowed him to take my hand and lace his fingers through mine. Our walk back to my apartment was silent. Every few minutes, I looked up at him, wanting to ask him what would really happen if I left him. Because I knew he was lying. But in the end, I never asked.
I didn't want to know.
22
BROGAN
