Page 233 of Santa Daddies
She would have to be insane to love this man.
“So, who is this girl?”
Huh? For a moment she thought he was talking about her, but then she noticed that he was nodding to Lola.
He wanted to know who Lola was?
She tightened her hold on her toy. What was she doing? Why had she let him into the room? Shown him this side of herself? She’d promised her Little that she would only show her to someone she fully trusted. Someone who wouldn’t crush her.
“No, baby, no,” he begged. “Don’t start crying again. Please.” There was a desperate look on his face and she wanted to give this to him, but she could feel her nose tingling. Could feel herself growing close to crying again.
He reached up slowly. What was he doing? She stared at his hand in shock. Then he cupped her cheek.
“Fuck. You’re freezing.” He glanced around and then headed to her bed.
What was he doing? And why had she let him inside?
She was nuts.
He drew the blanket off the bed and then turned back to her. She noticed that he was using his cane today. Had he driven down here? She could imagine how hard it was for him to get in and out of his vehicle then walk up the stairs to the landing outside her motel room.
Wait. She hadn’t even considered how he’d found her.
Walking back to her, he wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.
Alice couldn’t stop staring at himself. What was happening right now?
“You look so shocked, baby. Did you not think that I could take care of you?”
Well. It wasn’t that, exactly.
“I want you to sit down, okay? Sit on the chair. You seem a bit shocked and upset.”
Shouldn’t he sit, though?
She shook her head, then gestured to him.
“Me? What? You want me to sit?”
She nodded. This was kind of ridiculous. She should just open her mouth and speak. Like the freaking adult that she was. Instead of trying to use sign language to speak to him.
But the words wouldn’t come.
“I don’t need to sit. I want you to sit.” His voice was so firm that she found herself sitting without thought.
“That’s my good girl.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t know why you let me into the room, but I’m guessing that you thought you would put me off by showing me you, huh?”
Wow.
He was more perceptive than she’d actually realized.
“Yeah. I’m on the right track, aren’t I? You thought seeing you like this would mean that I wouldn’t want you? That I’d want to leave? That you would push me away?”
Her shoulders hunched and she attempted to disappear into the chair. Why had she done that? Why couldn’t she just tell him what she thought? What she wanted from him?
To go away and leave her alone.
“If you still want me to go after this, I will,” he told her. “But I need to tell you that I’m not scared off this easily. And that I’m not going to just give up. Yeah, you can get in your car and drive and it will probably make it hard for me to find you. But here’s the thing . . . I pushed you away because I thought you were lying to me, but also because I was scared. And I’m not that guy. I don’t let fear get to me. I am not going to let it take hold of my life. Not anymore. I’ve been hiding away, scared of what people think of me, scared to ask for help, scared that for the rest of my life I’m going to be a burden on everyone around me and I’ve been pushing them away. Some of them are dense bastards and won’t leave.”
