Page 20 of Charlotte
“Charlotte, what are you saying? Of course, you are coming home as soon as I can arrange it,” Dr Jones says with conviction. I can feel the tension building in the room. The Marines are on edge. Dr Jones looks like he is going to burst a blood vessel. Lisa and JoAnn are looking on in confusion. They look from Dr Jones to me and Hawk.
“Dr Jones, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t think going home is the right thing to do at the moment. I need time to process everything that has happened to me. I need time to heal,” I declare. “My psychiatrist is here. I am not ready to deal with the press. They will be hounding me if they know where I am. There are some very bad men that are still looking for me. I just can’t deal with that right now. Captain Olson and Hawk are making sure I am safe and protected.”
“A psychiatrist? What the hell happened down there? Where did you go? We got up and you were just gone. We looked everywhere and couldn’t find any trace of you,” Dr Jones demands. “Why did you wander off and get yourself kidnapped?”
“Are you fucking serious? You are blaming her for being kidnapped and tortured for months?” Hawk yells. “Some friends you are.”
“What were we supposed to think? You disappear in the middle of the night. Nothing was out of place. We all know how you have trouble sleeping. What did you do, decide to go for a walk and get lost? You have always thrived on attention,” JoAnn speaks up. She had been unusually quite while the drama was unfolding.
“What the Hell JoAnn?” Lisa yells at her. “You can’t be serious. Charlotte wouldn’t purposefully put herself in harms way and you damn well know it.”
“Oh, come on Lisa. Charlotte is always doing something to get attention.” JoAnn sneers.
Hawk jumps to his feet, taking my hand and urging me to my feet. “We are done here. You have seen she’s alive, so we are leaving. You will go back to Hicksville, USA and live your lives. You will not tell anyone where Charlotte is or there will be serious consequences. Are we clear?” Hawk has me on my feet now and he’s moving us toward the door. Ace, and the others move in behind us forming a protective barrier.
“Is this for real?” Dr Jones shouts. “I have connections. I will go to the damn White House if I have to. You can’t keep her hostage.”
“I am not hostage,” I assert. “I understand you are confused about everything that has happened. Hell, I lived it and I am still struggling with it. I need to stay here. I’m not going to explain to you why, but I do. I will be coming back home at some point, but for right now. I am where I am supposed to be.” The stress from this confrontation and in my weakened condition it all just becomes too much. I feel myself falter, but before I can hit the floor, Hawk has once again swept me up off my feet.
“Captain, I need to get her home. She’s over done it. She needs to rest,” Hawk looks at me with concern. He is already heading for the door.
“Alright, Hawk. Take care of her. I will talk to you later,” Captain Olson dismisses us. Straw opens the door of the conference room and Hawk carries me out to the waiting SUV. I feel bad that they are so upset, but I just can’t go back right now. I am afraid. I’m afraid of Lopez’s men finding me and taking me back to Hell. I’m scared that I will lose control again without Hawk to bring me back to reality. I cling to Hawk like the lifeline he is as he settles me on to his lap in the back seat. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. While we wait for the others to pile into the SUV.
“I’m so sorry, love.” Hawk whispers in my ear. “I should never have allowed this to happen. I knew you weren’t up to a confrontation. We should have told those fuckers to fuck off.” Hawk growls in frustration. I raise my head up and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. He looks down at me with such tenderness in his eyes. I smile at him. I want to assure him that I am going to be fine. Hawk settles me into the seat and buckles my seatbelt.
Ace is behind the wheel with Deadeye riding shotgun. Tank has climbed in beside me. The others follow us in another vehicle. Once we arrive back at the house, Hawk carries me back inside and puts me to bed. The others set up watch in case my friends try to find me. I am out before my head hits the pillow.
Chapter 20
Charlotte
Wakefulness comes to me.My bindings are gone and I’m no longer on the ground. I’m in a bed, where am I? Suddenly, a blinding light pierces my eyes. It’s happening again. They are coming to hurt me again. I have to get away. Scrambling to get off the bed, I hit the floor hard on my right side. Pain shoots through my chest. God it hurts so bad to breathe. They are coming! The footsteps getting closer. I crawl under the bed to hide. A whimper escapes my lips, hush, be quiet, or they will find me. I try to make myself as small as possible. Hands are grabbing on to me, pulling me back. I kick, scream, and fight like hell to get away. I can’t let them do this anymore.
“Charlotte! Please stop fighting. It’s me. Hawk. Come back to me, love.” I hear the words, but it can’t be true. Is my dream really here? He can’t be here. I’m hallucinating again. Why can’t this be over?
“No! Stop! Please don’t hurt me anymore,” I sob as tears streak my face. I have tried not to let them see me cry. It only gives them pleasure to know they are hurting me, but I can’t stop the flow.
“You’re safe. Charlotte. I’m here. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” His deep soothing voice is in my ear and I want to believe him. It needs to be real. Looking around at the arms holding me, I trail them up to his face. It’s him. He’s here? Where are we? How did he find me? Touching his face frowning, he feels real.
“You’re here? How is that possible?” I whisper.
“Yes, I’m here, love. You are safe. I got you out of the jungle. Remember? We are in California, on base.” Hawk tells me patiently. He runs his hands over my back. Looking around, letting my eyes adjust to the light coming from the door. Behind me I see the bed where Hawk made love to me. Over Hawk’s shoulder, I see the bathroom where we showered just hours ago. It’s real? We are safe, in the house on base. Oh, God! I’m losing my mind. It was so real that I was still in that awful shed. Trembling I fall into his arms. Now he knows just how messed up I am.
“Charlotte? Are you hurt? That was a hard fall you took from the bed.” Hawk is running his hands over me checking for injuries. I want to just fall apart, but I know that if I allow myself to break, I will not be able to come back. I cling to him. He is my lifeline to reality.
“No, I’m not hurt.” I reply. He helps me up and I don’t protest when he puts me back into bed. I close my eyes and feign sleep. It’s just too embarrassing to deal with right now. I just need some time to get my mind cleared. He gets up from the edge of the bed. Instinctively I reach out and grab his hand. He can’t leave me. If I go back there again and he isn’t here to bring me back, I’ll be stuck there forever. “Don’t leave me, please?” I plead. It makes me sound weak and needy. Perhaps, I am. My hope is that he wants to be here for me, that he doesn’t see me as a burden. I hate that I am forced to admit weakness, but I know that I need him above all else.
“I won’t, love. I’m going to get your supper. I’ll be right back.” Hawk assures me in a soothing voice one would use to deal with a frightened child. Nodding I watch as he heads out the door. A few short minutes later he returns with a tray laden down with sandwiches, fresh veggies, fresh fruits, and assorted cheeses. He brings the tray over to sit it beside me. He begins to feed me as he did while in the safe house in Columbia. Where would I be if he hadn’t found me?
After eating, Hawk takes the tray back down the hall. When he returns, he has company. Deadeye, Ace, Wallace, Virus, Hack, Worm, Tank, Mercury, and Straw follow him into the room. They look at me suspiciously, but also with concern. They must think I am broken and I’m sure they are worried about Hawk being mixed up with a crazy person. The men have brought chairs in and they are sitting in a semi-circle around the bed, while some stand along the wall.
“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Deadeye asks. He looks at me intensely, trying to determine if I am in reality or if I’m back in the Columbian jungle.
“I’m not sure.” I answer honestly. “I think I might be broken.”
“I don’t think your broken, darling. Maybe a little bruised.” Worm says.
“What he means to say is that you just need a little help to get past all this.” Ace says with a smile. “We want to help you. But you have to be honest with us. Hawk is too close to you to be objective. I need you to tell me what has been happening in your head since we got back. You are going to see the doctor and you are going to tell them honestly what is happening with you.”
