Page 23 of Charlotte
“I see us together. I see us making a life together, a family. I have no intention of letting you get away from me, Charlotte.” Hawk says with conviction. “I meant what I said in Columbia. I feel a connection to you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I love you. What do you see, love?”
“Oh Hawk. You love me?”
“Yeah, love. I love you. I think I have been in love since I kissed your hand in the airport café.” Hawk’s voice is low and husky. It sends butterflies to my sex and wetness pools. Damn, I am horny all the time around this man.
“I love you, too. That’s what I want too. I just needed to know you felt the same. I know we have talked about it some at first, but you didn’t really know me. I just needed reassurance you still felt the same way.” I sigh as I realize that he does care for me and is not planning on dumping me once I am sane again.
“I want you to understand. I am never going to let you go. Don’t ever doubt me again.” Hawk says sternly. “I asked you if you were sure about us, before I made love to you the first time. I told you once we crossed that line, you were mine.”
“I know. I just let my insecurities get the better of me sometimes. I’m sorry I doubted you. You haven’t done anything to make me question you.”
“I want to build a life with you. I don’t know how you feel about having more children, but if you are open to it. I am. I know that we are getting a bit old to be having kids, but I love kids and you having mine would be amazing.” Hawk says earnestly.
“Hawk? Really? You want us to have a baby? I might be getting too old for that, but if it happened, I would be overjoyed.” I reply with tears forming in my eyes. The tears seem to come to easily in the last week. I had thought I was getting better, but the water works have started again.
“Well now that is settled. Let’s eat. I’m starving. Wolf and Caroline want us to come to Aces bar for drinks later. All the guys, SEALs, and their women will be there.”
“That sounds like fun.” I smile at him. He lowers his head and steals a quick kiss. I pull him back to my mouth before he can pull away. I kiss him deeply, relishing in his taste. He is such a good kisser. His tongue enters my mouth and dances with mine for several long minutes. Finally, he pulls back, laughing.
“We are going to be late meeting the guys if you keep that up.”
“Ok, I’ll behave. We will take this up later, though.” I smile turning back to finish supper.
A couple of hours later, we arrive atAces Bar and Grill. Hawk is dressed in kakis and a dark green polo shirt. His muscles bulge and flex as he moves. He is looking so damn good. Several women turn to look at him as we cross the dance floor. I feel the green monster of jealously rearing its ugly head, but I relax when he puts his arm around my waist. He pulls me close to his side and places a kiss on my temple.
At Hawk’s insistence, I have on a little black dress. He actually picked it out the last time we went shopping. It is a halter dress with a built-in bra. It has a little too much v in the front. I feel like my boobs are going to fall out at any moment. The back scoops low showing way more skin than I am comfortable with, but Hawk assured me that I look gorgeous. Thankfully, the hem comes to my knees. I have on matching black pumps. Before we left, Hawk gave me a beautiful necklace with a single tear drop diamond, that is resting at the top of my cleavage. My hair has cooperated for once. I have the sides pulled back, secured with a beaded barrette, while my curls fall down my back.
The gang is all there. Deadeye and Ace wave us over. Everyone is sitting around several tables that they have pulled together. The men all stand as we arrive. Lots of back slapping and cheek kissing occur before we settle down into our seats. A waitress heads our way to get our drink order.
My health seems to be taking a turn for the worse over the last several days. Fatigue and nausea have become constant companions. I have had two nosebleeds this week as well as dizziness. Perhaps it is something left over from my injuries, but I can’t be sure. It’s been hard keeping all of this from Hawk. He worries so much with the nightmares and flashbacks. I should have gone easy at supper, but I lost my breakfast and lunch today, so I was starving and ate more than I should. It’s going to come back up. Perhaps I should go to the clinic for a checkup.
“Charlotte, you look amazing tonight. I’m so glad you and Hawk could join us.” Caroline says to me as we sit down.
“Thanks, Caroline. We are looking forward to visiting with everyone.” I reply trying to be chipper than I feel.
“What can I get you to drink?” The waitress asks.
“Beer, Budweiser.” Hawk says and looks to me. “A glass of red?”
“No, just water, I think. I’m not feeling alcohol tonight.” I smile, afraid he will question me again. He has been worried over my nausea. I don’t want him to be worried tonight. We just need to relax and have a little fun for once.
“Are you sick again?” Hawk asks me quietly where no one else can hear.
“A little.” I reply honestly. I don’t want to lie to him, but by not telling him all my symptoms, I suppose I am lying by omission. As I contemplate this thought, a sigh escapes my lips. I need to figure out what is going on with me, but it will have to wait for another time. Tonight, we are going to enjoy our time with friends. Nothing is going to ruin this for us. I manage to swallow the bile that is rising in my throat.
After a couple hours of enjoyable conversation, Hawk leans into me and asks me to dance with him. I raise an eyebrow at him. We haven’t ever danced before. I am not a good dancer and I certainly don’t want to reveal my ineptitude in front of all our friends.
“Come on, love. I want you to dance with me.” Hawk takes my hand and leads me out onto the dance floor. A new song comes on as we reach the center. Cole Swindell’s,Making My Way to Youbegins to play. Hawk puts his arms around my waist, and I slide my arms around his neck. He pulls me in close and puts his mouth to my ear and begins to sing the song to me. He sings about how everything in his life has led him to find his forever, me.
By the time the song ends, I am in tears. Hawk pulls back from me and gets down on one knee. He pulls a box from his pocket and looks up at me expectantly as he opens the box.
“Charlotte, I know we haven’t known each other very long. But like you said, we aren’t children and we don’t have a promise of tomorrow. Will you be my wife, my forever?” Hawk asks me.
“Yes!” I whisper. Barely able to get the words out around the huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I am in shock. I never thought he was ready for this. I must be holding my breath because I am suddenly weak and lightheaded. As I faulter on my feet, Hawk sweeps me into his arms swinging us around in a circle. Cheers erupt from our tables. The whole bar is clapping for us. Hawk takes the ring from the box and places it on my ring finger on my left hand. It is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. A large princess cut diamond on a white gold band with smaller diamonds on each side of the set.
When we return to the table, everyone is abuzz with congratulations and wanting to see the ring. This is complete heaven. I try not to think about what this means as far as my kids, my job, and my life goes. We have a lot to figure out, but right now none of that matters. We are just going to bask in the glow of the moment.
A little later, I head to the bathroom with Caroline, Summer, and Jessyka. I know why they never let anyone go alone, but I really don’t want company at the moment. I am feeling sick again. Really sick and I know I am going to lose my supper when I reach the bathroom. As soon as we enter the restroom, I run for an empty stall. Once my stomach is emptied, I remain on my knees for several minutes. I am so weak. I just need a minute to get my strength back. If I didn’t know better, I would think I was pregnant. I mean my boobs have been overly sensitive, the nausea, dizziness, and fatigue. Surely, I’m not, but we haven’t used protection. Shit! I never even thought about it until this moment. I am a grown woman. I know how babies are made, but at my age I didn’t really expect it. I should have been more responsible. It had been so long since that was even a concern. A soft knock on the door brings me back to reality.
