Page 24 of Charlotte
“Charlotte, are you alright?” Jess asks me, quietly.
“Yes, I’ll be out in a minute.” I struggle to get my feet under me. I have to talk to Hawk. What will he say? He said he wanted us to have kids, right? Will he be upset with me? Is it too soon? He was there, too. I’m not the only one that was irresponsible. Sitting here in the floor, isn’t going to change anything. It’s disgusting actually. Finally, I manage to get up and head for the sinks to wash my hands and the foul taste out of my mouth.
“You look like shit! Are you sure you are ok?” Summer, Jess, and Caroline are looking at me with concern. “You are so pale.”
I try to put a smile on my face as I wash my hands and rinse my mouth. The water brings more nausea and I am again in the stall dry heaving for several minutes. When I emerge again from the stall on shaky legs, Jess puts her arm around my waist supporting me and Caroline gets on the other side. We leave the bathroom as a group. Wolf and Mozart are waiting for us in the hall. Hawk rushes across the room as he sees us emerge from the hall. I know I look a mess. I am pale, a thin sheen of sweat on my brow, and I am almost too weak to walk.
“Charlotte! What’s wrong, love? Do you need to go to the hospital? Deadeye get my truck!” Hawk shouts as he pitches his keys to Deadeye.
“Hawk, I’m fine. I just need to lay down.”
“You are not fine! I’m taking you to the hospital right now.” Hawk says with determination.
“I don’t need the hospital. I will go to the clinic tomorrow. It’s not an emergency.” I say to placate him.
“How can you say that? You are sick.” Hawk continues to look at me with concern and fear.
“She’s not sick, Hawk. If it’s what I think, she will be fine, but she needs to rest.” Jess says with a coy smile. I look at her and instantly know she is thinking the same thing I am as I nod at her.
Hawk looks back and forth between us frowning. He seems to decide something and nods. He sweeps me off my feet and heads for the door. As we leave the bar, Deadeye pulls up to the door with Hawk’s truck. Hawk places me gently in the passenger seat, buckles my seat belt, and then rounds the truck to slide into the driver’s seat that was just vacated by Deadeye.
“Should we call ahead to the ER, let them know you’re coming?” Deadeye asks.
“No. We aren’t going. I think we have somethings to talk about at home.” Hawk replies quietly as he climbs in and put the truck in gear.
The ride home was in silence as I contemplated how I was going to tell him. We pull into the drive. Hawk shuts off the engine and exits the truck. I wait for him to open my door. He doesn’t give me a chance to try to walk. He picks me up and carries me to the front door. Once inside, the alarm reset, and the doors locked. Hawk carries me through the bedroom and into the bathroom. He slowly undresses me, brushes my teeth, and washes my face. I don’t even try to protest. This is something he needs to do. He needs to process what is happening. We just got engaged and realize that I am carrying his child all in the same night. Once he is done, he carries me naked to the bed. He pulls the covers down and lays me on the bed. He covers me and places a lingering kiss on my forehead.
“I’ll be right back, love.” Hawk whispers to me as he turns to go back into the bathroom. He returns several minutes later. He too is naked as he slips under the covers on his side of the bed. Without saying a word, he reaches for me. I go to him willingly. He rolls over me, kissing me deeply, reverently. Okay, he knows, but still he doesn’t say anything and neither do I. I don’t want to ruin the moment.
Hawk proceeds to make love to me, like never before. He is so tender, gentle. He kisses me from jaw to breasts. He suckles each nipple, nipping, licking, and teasing. He continues down my body leaving a trail of licks and kisses. Once he reaches my navel, he pauses. He cups my lower abdomen with his hands. He raises his head to look into my eyes.
“This is where our baby lives for now?” He asks quietly. I have tears in my eyes. I feel so loved in this moment.
“Yes.” I whisper. It is the only thing that makes sense. It explains all my symptoms. I am still reeling with the implications.
Hawk gently kisses my belly. He rubs his hands over it so reverently. He continues to lower himself between my legs. He kisses my mound, my inner thighs, and my lower lips. He slides his hands under my ass lifting my hips to give him access to my wet sex. Using his thumbs, he parts my lips and slips his tongue between them. He licks from bottom to top and circles my clit. I shiver. He begins to suck on my clit, nipping it with his teeth. I buck my hips to meet his mouth. I am a feverish mess of need and want. I am soaking wet for him. I pull on his hair. I need to feel him inside me.
“Patience, love. Let me love you, worship you. You are giving me the greatest gift. You are carrying my child. I want you to feel the ecstasy I feel when thinking about what you are doing for me.” Hawk whispers to me from between my legs. He looks up into my eyes while making his powerful declaration. I shudder from his words, his breathe on my thighs, and from the emotions running through me.
“Ok.” I whisper back and relax back into the mattress. Hawk continues his ministrations bringing me to climax in a short amount of time. He moves back up my body, kissing his way to join my lips again. I am so enthralled with this man. How did I get so lucky? I know I don’t deserve him, but I am so thankful for him every day. I know that with him at my side, I can be a mom again, even at my age.
Later after we are both sated and content; I am cuddled up to his side. Hawk runs his hands down my hair. Our breathing is still labored, and the sheets are soaked with sweat. I have never been happier in my life. I look down at the ring on my finger and stifle a chuckle. I am glad he asked me before we figured out that I was pregnant. I might have thought that was the only reason he asked me.
“Are you ok with this, love.” Hawk asks me quietly. “I should I have been more careful. I didn’t even think to use a condom. I wanted to feel you on my skin. I didn’t want a barrier between us, but I should have been responsible.”
“Hawk, I should have thought of it. I am a nurse practitioner for God’s sake! I counsel my patients to always be diligent to prevent an unwanted pregnancy and prevent STD’s. But I didn’t want a barrier either and while I am shocked. I can’t say this is unwanted. We are a little old to be having a baby, but I am honored to carry your child. I love that we have made a new life. A little piece of you and me, will live on after we are gone.”
Turning to face him the love in his eyes overwhelms me. I am drowning in it. No matter what comes our way we will be alright. We can do this, even though we will be in our 60’s by the time this baby is in college.
“I love you, Charlotte Williams, soon to be Jackson.” Hawk says with a grin.
I love you, Jordan Jackson.” I smile at him as I snuggle into his bare, hairy chest. I inhale his scent deeply. In minutes I’m asleep, content in the happiness that is my life. In the early morning hours wakefulness comes along with nausea so I run for the bathroom. In the bathroom on my knees at the toilet Hawk comes into the room and rushes to my side.
“Oh love, Are you ok? What can I do for you?” Hawk asks as he lifts me into his arms. He carries me to the bed and disappears into the bathroom. He returns a few seconds later with a cool wet cloth to place on my head. “I’m so sorry you are so sick. Is this normal? Were you this sick with your children?”
“No. I was never this sick, but each pregnancy is different.” I say in contemplation. “I hope it doesn’t last long. I’m just now physically getting over what happened in Columbia.”
Later on, that morning, we go to the clinic and confirm that yes, I am pregnant with a blood test. They give me prenatal vitamins, something for nausea, and an appointment with an OB/GYN for next week. Hawk is beaming when we leave the clinic. He wants to call and tell everyone, but I convince him to wait until we see the OB next week.
