Page 107 of Unspoken Hearts
I watch her throat work as she avoids my eyes, her smile faltering as well as I wait for her response. Maybe she won’t tell me? I could have overstepped into something, but a part of me doesn’t want these walls up between us anymore.
“I was there getting stuff for Laynie, for the festival, when Axel’s university called me,” she explains.
From the hesitancy in her voice, I can tell that this is a lot for her to speak about, so I don’t rush her. I want her to feel comfortable, and not shut herself off like she always does.
“I had to pay another fee, and it was everything I had saved,” Macie admits quietly.
My teeth mash together. She’s worked so hard to get her brother where he is today, but never realised how little she keeps for herself.
“Mae…”
She sniffs, more ice cream melting. She licks it off her hand, chin dipping. “I will do everything to keep him there. To not ruin his dream, but then—”
I nod slowly, my chest dropping like an anchor as I see just how much she’s holding onto. This normally bright, bubbly girl has everything on her shoulders, and she pushes everyone away, wanting to show that she’s strong enough.
“You don’t need to do all of this alone,” I murmur.
“I know,” she breathes, her chin lifting to mine. I see the pink in her eyes, making the emerald stand out more, and my heart aches at how worn down she’s looking.
“You can always come to me with whatever problem you have. I’m not going to be upset or think that you’re weak.”
Golden lashes blink at me, and adrenaline courses through me quickly.Maybe I shouldn’t have saidweak.
A tear slips from her lashes, and Macie quickly wipes it away before I can. “I know,” she echoes, voice raspy voice. My shoulders cave a little. “I just spent my whole life teaching myself, and I learnt quickly not to rely on my parents, so I think it’s ingrained in me to handle everything andnot ask for help, you know?” My frown deepens as she looks away again, clearing her throat. “This is why I’m writing my book.”
I run my tongue along my bottom lip, tasting her and caramel. “What’s it about, Mae?” I feel stinging in my stomach, afraid of what I’m about to hear.
She finishes off her cone, wiping her hands before explaining the premise to me. “It’s based on someone who grows up in a dysfunctional family, having to raise her younger siblings and fight for them. It’s about justice and self sacrifice. Things that—” Her duller gaze drifts away from my heavy one and she shrugs. “I guess you could say that it’s based on my life.”
“Mae, that’s…” I’m unable to find words.Heavy? Brave? Therapeutic?I really don’t know which one to pick, because they all sound right, but knowing Macie, she’ll just toss them aside, not giving herself credit for doing something this impressive.
She nods, knowing what I’m silently saying. “I wanted to write this story so that others could relate to it. And, who knows, maybe it’ll give them a bit of hope.”
“Do you think it helped you, too?”
Macie dips her chin again, pushing hair behind her ears. “Yeah, it did. I could never afford to speak with anyone about my childhood and how it affected me, and I didn’t feel like dumping everything onto my friends or Axel, so I kept it all in.” My eyes search her green as she swallows. “Writing it down makes my thoughts and actions feel more validated. And I know I shouldn’t be this stubborn or controlling, but you don’t know how it feels to manage everything and to keep my brother alive when we didn’t have anyone else.” Her breath catches. “I want others toknow that they aren’t drowning, even when it feels like you can’t breathe. Like every step you take, you’re knocked back.”
My pulse beats through my ears as Macie rests her head against my shoulder, her body stiff against my own.
Kissing her forehead gently, I mutter, “I’m really proud of you, Mae.” I wonder how many times she’s heard that before. If she’s heard that from her parents or her aunt before she left town. I pull her closer to me, an arm going around her shoulders. “Have you heard from Lucy since she left?”
Macie is still for a beat before shaking her head. “No.”
I’m silent, wondering how someone could just leave behind kids. Some people I guess are too selfish. “Do you think something might have happened to her?”
I feel her squirm against me. “I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it.” I can hear the tremble in her tone.
“Mae,” I say her name quietly, the word cracking in my throat.
Her gaze drifts into the distance, and I shuffle in my seat, feeling uneasy now. I know all she wants is to shove it down, to keep it inside, but it pains me to see her holding it in.
“She never messaged me back. She didn’t even call after she took off.” Her voice is small as her shoulders sink slowly, along with my heart. “She just left us.”
My teeth press together as I run my fingers through my hair. Her aunt hasn’t contacted her in months after leaving the two of them. She was never really present when she was here. Never working and just causing more headaches for Macie, but the fact that she feels this upset about it hurts.
“I sometimes think…” She pauses, climbing back up into that pretty mind of hers. She might not think that I see it constantly working, but I do, and it must be exhausting. My hand squeezes hers, and her green eyes blink my way as I patiently wait for her to continue her thought. “Maybe I can’t keep people around me, Reid.”
My mouth parts.
