Page 5 of Unspoken Hearts
I dip my chin once, amusement wiped off my features. “Yeah. Of course I am.”
Because if I tell myself that enough, maybe it’ll actually become true.
Sniffing lightly, I move away from him to my small handbag that my best friend, Laynie Adler, bought for my birthday a couple of years ago. It’s battered and worn, but still works perfectly fine. Opening the zip, I pull out the paper envelopes and hand them to my brother.
With pinched brows, Axel opens them and I watch the confusion disappear, his mouth opening a fraction. “Macie, I can’t—”
“Yes, you will,” I say, voice stern. “You need something to get you started, and I want you to take them. Use it for your books and your living expenses.”
His head tilts, chestnut strands falling down his creased forehead. “I can’t take your paychecks.”
I snatch back the envelopes, folding and pushing them into his trackpant pocket. “You can, and you will. You need them more than I do.”
That makes him snicker softly. “You need them to live here. How are you going to pay the rent? Lucy sure isn’t helping you,” he points out, but I don’t give in.
“I’ll be fine, Axe. Don’t worry about me. This is your day. Your time to go out there and make something of yourself.”
Axel groans, and the corners of my mouth curl as he pulls me into an embrace. It’s warm and comforting. His taller body engulfs mine as I press my eyes shut, inhaling his strong bergamot and cedarwood cologne.
“You’re too good to me, Macie,” he murmurs into my hair, making my heart feel weighed down as I listen to his thundering chest.
I sniff, not wanting my emotions to show. It’s like they’re a caged up beast, and I’m too afraid of letting them loose, unsure of how fast and loud they’ll escape me. It’s easier to have them bottled up than to have my heart constantly trampled on. Then there’s no way of being let down again.
“Yeah, well, don’t forget that while you’re living it up in the big city,” I say lightheartedly, wanting desperately to hold in the sensation building beneath my ribs.
“Never,” Axel says, pulling away with a wide grin. “You could come with me, you know?”
I shake my head, ignoring the gnawing deep in my gut. “I can’t. You know Laynie needs me at the cafe. And I think she’d tie me down if I said I was moving away.” I can’t stop the giggle that escapes when I think of my best friends. “Grayson would as well.”
Axel barks a laugh. “That I could imagine. You’re like their sister.”
The giggle that bubbles out of my throat is loud. My brother’s eyebrows rise. “Jealous, are we?”
“Hardly,” Axel admits. “They can have you if they want.”
“I’m glad I’m so disposable to you,” I sneer.
“I’m joking, Mace. You’re irreplaceable, and Laynie and Grayson know that too,” he adds.
I run my chipped nails through my long hair as I think about his words. Grayson and Laynie have been my friends since we moved here. I love them like siblings, but it makes my stomach twist to know that I’ve had a crush on Grayson’s older brother Reid since the day I saw him.
I don’t know what it is—possibly his gentle, timid nature, or his ridiculously good looks—but there’s something that pulls me towards him. I have tried ignoring that tingling feeling I get whenever he’s around, but it doesn’t seem to ever let up.
Although, he hardly thinks that I’m alive.
We’ve caught each other’s eye a few times, but I could never tell what he was thinking. Sure, we have talked. Well, more I have talked and he’s listened to me. He’s good at that—listening—but it’s never been more than that, no matter how much my heart flutters when I’m with him.
I just have to keep pushing away the thought that one day I might be with him. Hope flickers like a burnt out candle.
Axel lifts his bag and drops it on the dirty carpet, along with his other things, before letting out a sigh. “Done.”
Nodding, I follow him out into the small kitchen that backs onto the cramped living room. This house is small and dingy, with stained walls, ripped carpet and a stale stench that we have never been able to remove completely.
I’m fairly sure Aunt Lucy’s furniture was taken from people’s front lawns. They’re all old and a little tattered, but still functional. It’s not like I can really afford to replace everything, anyway.
Grabbing some plastic cups, I place them on the bench, along with paper plates and cutlery. Axel pulls packets of food from the fridge and shoves them in the oven, preparing for his friends to come over tonight for the last night.
I, of course, invited Grayson and Laynie, mainly because I’ll need them here to keep me company while Axel enjoys his last night in town.
