Page 24 of Hot Shot
“This?”
“Being with a friend, sharing meals with someone I care about. For a while, every interaction was a battle in a war I had no hope of winning.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I got myself into the situation. I deserved?—”
“Not that. No one deserves what you went through.” Neither of us speaks the words and I still don’t know the full story but nobody, not even the haters I’ve dealt with over the years, deserves what Branton has endured.
“Agree to disagree. Now let’s get lunch on the table.”
“I’ll get drinks.”
“Water for me. I might not have worked up a sweat on my hike, but I still need to hydrate.”
“Well, I did work up a sweat, so two waters coming right up, then I’ll dish out the soup, or should we just take the pot out and serve ourselves at the table?”
“We can do that. There’s a square tile on the table that we can put the hot pot on.”
“Okay. I’ll take the soup out and come back for the rest.” As I do what I said, I try not to dwell on the things Bran revealed.
If he and Celeste were always fighting, why the hell were they together?
Nothing is making sense and I have so many questions. Questions I’m not sure I want the answers to. Except this is Bran. The boy I grew up with. The boy who was my friend. The boy who turned into the man I fell in love with. The man I thought I’d spend my life with.
The man I let push me away when everything in me was screaming to get closer.
I didn’t push back. I should have pushed back. I should never have accepted the silence between us. Not even sure why I did. It wasn’t what I wanted.
And yet I didn’t even push when his world fell apart. I just sat back and wished I could be there for him. What kind of friend does that make me?
Bran blames himself, but aren’t I just as much to blame?
My inactions speak for themselves.
I’ll need to think hard, look deep, to work out why I let things go the way I did.
After talking with Mom, and the conversations I’ve had with Bran so far, I’m not sure I can let him go. And the warning he gave, about not thinking he’s pretty after I know everything doesn’t do a thing to make me want to either.
I’m not even sure I let him go before. I stayed away, focused on my life, but did I really let him go?
The feelings rising to the surface now suggest I didn’t.
It only makes me want to get closer, get back to where we were before Celeste came into the picture.
“I cut four pieces each. I’ll eat that many and I know you could pack away the carbs when you played…”
“Four’s good,” I say as I pass him on my way back into the house. “I’ll just grab our drinks.”
“There’s ice if you want it. I put a tray in the freezer this morning.”
I can’t help laughing.
“What’s funny?” Bran calls out.
“Just picturing how yesterday would have been different if you’d had ice in your freezer.”
“Oakley would have loaded the bucket with ice instead of water?” he asks from right behind me.
