Page 122 of Hot Damn
His words send a shaft of pain through my chest so sharp I take a step back.
“It was knee-jerk. I know, in my head, my heart, you’dneverdo that.”
I hear his words, the sincerity in them, but it isn’t enough to snuff out the hurt they inflict. “You thought I’d told the media. That I’d revealed your secret to the world…”
“No. Not really. I was panicking, not thinking.”
I hold up a hand. The calmness that comes over me is numbing.
“I’ll leave you two alone. Talk to Whitney, get everything straightened out with her. You have an hour at the most to make a decision on what to do about the segment that’s going live tonight. If you want to get in front of it, you need to do it sooner than later.”
I don’t know how I walk out without breaking down. Don’t know where I’m going or what I’ll do, I just know I need to get away from Beckett.
Oakley, Natalie, and Blake meet me in the hallway and one look at my face telegraphs my need for privacy. Oakley, the best of best friends, grabs my arm and pulls me toward her office.
Once enclosed in the quiet room with the three people who know more about me than anyone else, I let my emotions free.
It was already an emotional afternoon, the call from Dad, the hunt and barter to get the segment on Beckett and Whitney trashed, the fear for Whitney, now Beckett’s confession.
I’ve been a tearful mess for the last hour at least and with the ache in my chest, the hollow feeling in my belly, I doubt the tears will stop any time soon.
“What do you need other than tissues?” Nat asks.
“N-n-nothing.”
All I just need is to let it out.
Let go of the hurt the man I love inflicted with a few words, with his first instinctual reaction to a situation he had every right to react to.
I have to believe instinct and habit collided. That his words are true and he doesn’t believe I’d ever reveal information about him or Whitney to the media. To anyone.
“He was panicking. He knew it wasn’t you,” Oakley explains. “He’s just used to going it alone with Whitney, you’re one of the first people in his life to protect her the way he does. He doesn’t expect it.”
Oakley’s insight offers some relief. I know she’s right and once I get over the hurt, get the emotions of today behind me, I’ll be able to look at it more clearly.
Until then I’m going to have a good cry—something I’ve rarely done—and purge all the pain.
“I know.” I sniff back a sob. “I just need.”
“To cry.” Blake wraps her arm around me. “You cry until you can’t anymore and we’ll be right here with you.”
“Th-thanks.”
I don’t know how long I sit with my best friends to either side of me when Nat pushes a bunch of tissues into my hand. “I need to go out there. I have to check on things and get others in place. Let the rest of the entire org know we’re on a media blackout.”
“Okay.”
“Do you have a plan to deal with this?”
Glancing up, I look at her.
She smiles. “I know you. You were running scenarios in your head from the moment you found out what was happening.”
Nodding, I use the tissues to wipe my face. “Give me aminute. But basically I think we should do what we did when Whitney outed herself. Share their story first.”
“As much as necessary for the vultures to leave them alone.”
“Yes.”
