Page 19 of Sinister Hearts
“Mijo, this is more than I buy, and I can’t afford this—” Ma stammered shocked.
Jax cut Ma off, “Looks like you got more mouths to feed.” He glanced at Birdie and I with a gentle smile. “I’m not charging you full price, Ma. Regular price like always.” Jaxon double-wrapped the meat for us in brown paper.
Ma? Jax is calling her Ma?What the actual hell has she not told me? And what have I missed? She didn’t argue and nodded at him, hugging him.
“Thank you, mijo.”
Hugging him. She was hugging this man. Ma didn’t hug. What the fuck was this?
“Just make sure to bring over some of that birria you make and we’re even.” Jaxon gave her a smug smile.
Since when was he good with kids, and since when did he make nice with my mother? I guess the last time I saw Jax we were kids ourselves. Who was this man standing before me? I had so many questions scurrying through my head. I didn’t know where some of them stopped and began, all of it becoming overwhelming. I felt like I was being wrapped up by a tornado.
“She has your eyes,” Jaxon called out to me as we began heading out to the dirt parking lot. Standing in place, I paused and turned around. All I could do was smile and nod.
“Thanks,” I replied, without even thinking.
Fuck.
“Dark, but with specs of green just in the corner. In the sun you can see it the most. Especially your right eye, it’s lighter than the left.” Jax called back out to me.
I stood there, astonished and bewildered. I couldn’t find words, my stomach twisted, leading up to my chest. There it was, another tug on that stupid fucking heart string of mine.
“I’ll see you around, Robles. Bye, Birdie.” Jax waved goodbye to her as he turned back to his freezer for more meat for another customer, not even giving me a second glance. As if he didn’t just rip me open at the seams and detach me from my thick skin in a glimpse of a moment, his words warmed my frost-bitten heart.
“Bye!” Birdie shouted back to him from her cart.
I stood there frozen in time, speechless.
“Close your mouth, mija,” Ma whispered, chuckling in my ear as we left.
The ride back was quiet, my frustration hanging loud in the air, cold and thick. Birdie played with her doll and the alfalfa in the back of Ma’s square body Chevy truck. After getting back to the house, we began prepping some of the meat for the birria. All the seasoning and spices tickled my airways.
“So, are you going to tell me why Jax is calling you Ma?” I demanded answers.
She laughed, beguiled. “I knew something was mustering up inside of you. You were awfully quiet the whole ride home,” Ma replied as she chopped her herbs.
“Since when are you friends with the guy who broke your daughter’s heart?” I questioned Ma in all seriousness, twirling my eyes to the gods themselves.
“Faye, that was a long time ago. You both were kids. And you broke each other’s hearts, niña,” Ma exclaimed, wiping her hands on her apron.
I gasped at her audacity. “He left, I didn’t. He broke things off with me, after I needed him!”I couldn’t believe my ears!
“That’s not fair. You left too, Faye. What happened, it was too much for you both to bear so young, mija,” Ma responded with sadness in her weathered brown eyes.
“Ma, stop beating around the bush and answer me, please!” Birdie was settled in the living room watchingHalloween Town, coloring.
Ma shushed me. “Diana passed three years ago from cancer. After she passed, I would swing by and drop off food any time I could. Diana was the glue of that family. I just wanted to help any way I could. They treated you so well. It was the least I could do.” Ma’s voice cracked as she spoke.
I went blank and immediately felt guilt berate me.I was such a sasshole.
“What, why didn’t you tell me?” I asked regretfully.
Ma began seasoning the meat intensely with the fresh herbs from her garden. “You were busy living your life, I didn’t want to bother you. Plus, I knew how you felt about Jax. You were still angry with him, so I figured I’d leave it alone. What you both went through so young, it was…” I could tell Ma was thinking before she spoke.
“Ma, just stop, please.”I refused to have this conversation, I wouldn’t… I couldn’t.
“You can’t be mad at him forever, Faye. He was a kid, and so were you. How long are you going to blame him for things out of his control?” Ma asked me, in her tiled kitchen full of wallpaper.
