Page 22 of Sinister Hearts
Five years later and it still hurts to think about. How she left after what we went through. Like I was nothing. Likewewere nothing. Could I blame her for running away after the way I treated her? I didn’t know anymore. What the helldidI know? I knew that when I saw her at the farmer’s market with her daughter, it didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would. I thought it would be weird to witness her being a mother. But it made me melt even more for her. And here I was messing it up, like I always did. I had to make this right. She came here with a sincere heart and I was an asshole. It seemed like I managed to mess everything up when it came to that woman. Maybe because she was the only woman who’d ever really scared the complete shit out of me.
Imagine Death being scared of a woman. It was the way I felt for her that made me fearful. The way I loved her, it nearly destroyed me. I’ve never done anything half-ass. Not hate, not Death, and certainty not love. I felt things right down to my bones and I let it ache and ache, the way I ached for her.
I walked back inside feeling defeated. Pop was in the kitchen rinsing some mugs when he finally noticed my presence.
“So, what did you do now?” Pop asked me, slightly chuckling to himself.
“Pop, don’t start with me right now.” I was already sinking in my regret. I knew I fucked up, I didn’t need him to say it out loud, I already knew it. I sulked.
“Son, I know that look. It’s the same look as when you’d break your favorite toy truck as a kid.” My pop was right and I hated it.
“I haven’t been alone with that girl in years, and I bombed it. I said all the wrong things. Like I always do.” I sighed, plopping myself on the couch.
Pop laughed and sat in his reclining chair next to me. “Second chances don’t come around very often. Faye’s alwaysbeen a good girl. She’s always been good for you. Maybe too good for you.” Pop laughed at his own joke.
“Wow. Thanks, Pop, that makes me feel so much better.” I pulled my snapback over my face, embarrassed, knowing I blew it and he was rubbing it in. This man loved to watch me suffer through my failures. Oftentimes telling me, “Sometimes it’s the only way you learn.”
“What did you tell her that’s got you lookin’ like a sad puppy?” Pop asked, and rocked in his chair by the crackling fire.
“She was trying to give her condolences formóðir, and I threw the past in her face like an idiot,” I huffed, letting the cave in my chest expand.
“I see,” Pop replied, gazing into the fire. “Jax, I never loved anyone like I loved your mother, and I never will. She was the love of my life. There were plenty of times where I was an idiot. But not idiot enough to let something good pass me by. Love’s not easy, but it’s worth it.” Pop reclined back in his worn out chair.
“Who said I loved her?” I asked, aloof.
Pop got up from the reclining chair and laughed dramatically. “Boy, I don’t think you ever stopped. You’re thinking of the past too much and not livin’ in the present. The people you love won’t be here forever, mögr (son).” With that, he went to bed and left me in my thoughts.He was right. Old fart.
I had to make this right. Faye’s absence nearly destroyed me the first time, I barely recovered from the pain. I knew damn well there was no way in hell I could live through it a second time. I’m no fool this time. Only a damn fool for her.
I knew Faye like my morning grim scripture. Her love was forever engraved into my soul. I knew that when she was angry, there was no way to talk to her. So I gave it a few days. I figured I’d talk to her at the saloon, where I knew she couldn’t murderme and bury me in the local cemetery with a shovel. There’d be too many witnesses—not that she would give a damn.
She was a lot like me in that way. Whatever we felt, it was tenfold. It’s why she and I were always so dangerous together. When we loved, we loved deeply, and when we hated, we hated ruthlessly. Oftentimes we were too much alike, engulfed in one another deeply and unapologetic. I understood her wild and she understood mine. My little light wouldn’t get away again, not in this lifetime, or the next. I owned her heart and soul and she fucking knew it.
It was Thirsty Thursday and the saloon was packed with rebel cowboys and lost souls, the stench was strong and corrupt. Sure enough, there she was behind the bar with her dark tousled wavy hair, and those red lips that drove me feral. It was those tiny jean shorts that had my cock stiffening in my jeans.It is not the time for that. I gathered myself and walked to the bar.
This was a game my girl loved to play. A game I had mastered. I’d be honored to make sure she remembered just who she belonged to. It’s not the man who’d placed a diamond on her hand, where mine belonged… no. It’s not the man whose child she bore. She could have a hundred more, and would still always bemine.
I watched Faye in the corner, serving her customers in a silky black shirt with the top unbuttoned, her heavy breasts jiggling with each movement. No bra? Her nipples were on full display underneath the silky fabric. I groaned, displeased under my breath. She was playing a very dangerous game. I turned aroundas she bent over with her bubbly thick ass on display, all the men gawking at her, getting their tips out. These silly men thought this show was for them.All of this was for me. I watched as she moved, her body more filled out since I first saw her.
That’s right, little light, gleam for me.My hardened length pressed underneath my jeans. This is what my girl needed. A taunting game to bring her to life again. This was our special game and I was ready to take her and win.
“Hey Minx, I’d like a cold beer.” I sat down on the leather cracked bar stool and placed my cowboy hat on top of the bar. Faye turned around and was the least bit pleased to see me.Fair enough.
“Are you stalking me, Mr. Grimwood?” Faye huffed, reaching for the cold beer and handing it to me, seemingly annoyed by my entire existence.
“Nope, just thirsty. And it is Thursday,” I replied, and I could feel her vexation. It turned me on. The way I envisioned those pretty red lips around my throbbing cock had me readjusting in my seat.
Faye rolled her eyes, saying nothing as she serviced the other customers. I caught her staring at the Minx girls dancing on the bar.
“I remember you being up there, driving all these men wild.” I turned on my bar stool to watch them line dance. The Wild Minx girls were pretty, but they didn’t move like she did. Nor did they have her charisma. I only ever sawherin this room, in this life. It was always her.
“That was a long time ago, Jax,” Faye replied, attempting to look unbothered.
“What, you don’t think you still got it?” I taunted, challenging her as I took a sip of my beer.
Faye laughed in dry amusement. “Hardly. I’d probably break a hip or something,” Faye laughed, and continued to restock the bar. She glanced at the girls again.
“I bet those hips work just fine,” I replied, the air becoming still between us.
