Page 37 of Sinister Hearts
We had breakfast with Pop and a cup of joe. It was just like the old days. He didn’t even seem surprised that she was here. The bastard knew, hence the biscuits and gravy. Pop knew Faye loved them. It was like time had never passed. But I did miss móðir. How I wished she was here so she could see Faye in this kitchen again. I couldn’t help but feel like she was here with us. I watched Faye eat and laugh with Pop, mesmerized, and still felt like I was in a dream. I got my girl back. She was here, in my kitchen.
Pop and Faye were always the talkers in the morning. I could sit here and watch them talk forever. I watched her and Pop catch up, and talk about Birdie and the horse haven. I paid attention to every dimple and smile line as she laughed. The way she pulled her hair back when she got nervous. This was my everything right here in this kitchen. Faye Robles… the keeper to my sinister heart.
After breakfast we washed up and got dressed.
“Birdie is coming home today.” Faye beamed. “I have to meet Vadon at the halfway point.” She seemed nervous about this.
“Are you okay?” I asked her. She looked pale and was shaky. I grabbed her hands, kissing them softly. Faye looked out the window, trying to be anywhere but here again. “Don’t do that,” I murmured. Faye looked from the window to me, snapping out of the daze she was in.
“Do what?” she asked, looking like she was between a parallel world that was here and somewhere else entirely.
“Don’t disappear on me. Talk to me, Faye,” I said, rubbing her cheek with my thumb. She swallowed hard.
“I haven’t seen Vadon since that night, Jax,” Faye stuttered. The bastard refused to see Birdie for months. Didn’t even call. But now he wants to play father of the year. He was a chump and I despised him. Birdie deserved better. They deserved me. I know I had a long way to go with them, but I was willing to do it. I loved Faye, which meant a part of me already loved Birdie, too. It was that simple. She was a part of Faye which meant she would be a part of me.
“Faye, are you comfortable doing this alone?” I asked, my concern visible in my tone. Birdie was the sole reason I hadn’t broken every single bone in his useless body and fed him to the desert, where the wild animals would make a feast out of him. The thought sent happiness down my spine.
The truth was,Ididn’t feel comfortable. Faye would be an hour away from me. If Vadon tried anything, I swear I’d fucking end him with a slow, painful death. It wasn’t enough that I wanted to rip his head off. It wasn’t just what he’d done to Faye, but it was the way he disregarded Birdie the last few months that boiled my blood. How could a father treat his own like that? He is no man. No man disregarded his children and left them with nothing, to suffer. Faye took me out of my dark thoughts.
“We have to be comfortable with it, Jax. This is our new normal unfortunately. We all need time to adjust.” Faye seemed exhausted just saying those words.
Our new reality was bullshit. “If you want me to, I could come with you,” I contested, already getting dressed to meet this fucking foul man.
“No!” she shouted, hopping up from the bed. “If Vadon finds out we’re together he will lose it, Jax.” The look of worry was growing on Faye’s face.
I laughed, overly dramatic. My little ljos just had no clue. “I don’t fear any man, Faye, let's make that clear,” I said, zipping up my Milwaukee work jeans.
“That’s not the point.” She looked at me with dread in her eyes. Faye was scared of this bastard, it was etched upon her face like a puzzle. This boiled my blood. My demons wanted to surface from their depths.
“We can’t hide us forever,” I said, grabbing her chin with my thumb and index finger.
“I’m not trying to hide us, Jax. I’m trying to protect us,” she explained. Somehow I understood. I didn’t want to push the subject, but I needed to know. The rumors and my curiosity swarmed against my thoughts. Everything in me needed to know. Why was she so afraid of this mortal man?
“Did he touch you?” I asked sternly. Faye turned to me, and the deadpan expression told me everything I needed to know. I had known, I had assumed, but I needed to hear her say it before I turned my wrath upon his murky soul. I needed my little light to fucking say it.
The question alarmed me.“Did he touch you?”It echoed in my membrane relentlessly. The answer was simple and not so simple. It made me spiral into memories I had tried so hard to diminish. No, he never hit me, just beat me down with his inflicted words, and paralyzed my essence ruthlessly. The wounds he inflicted behind closed doors were quiet and harrowing, yet ingenious not to meet the public eye. There’s nothing an abuser loves more than public admiration.
Five years ago-(The first time…)
Birdie was sleeping peacefully in her bassinet when Vadon came home inebriated in the middle of the night. My heart began to pound, hearing the garage door open. I clung to my chest. The anxiety swelling inside my ribs.
“Where have you been, Vadon? It’s three a.m.” I questioned him, livid. Trying not to wake Birdie.
“I was golfing, relax.” He stumbled along with his words, laying plastered on our bed.
“Bullshit! Until three in the morning?” I walked closer to him, and caught the pronounced scent of a foreign perfume, a scent that didn’t belong to me.
“Tell me her name.” I demanded, standing by his side of the bed. My eye’s drowning in a sea of tears.
“What?” Vadon asked, sitting up disoriented.
“You heard me- The woman taking you away from your family. Say it, say her name.” I demanded, my voice shaking. Tremors began to confiscate my body.
“You are a fucking crazy bitch, you know that?” He stood and pointed at me in my face, screaming.
“Quiet down, you will wake Birdie.” I attempted to hush his drunken theatrics.
Vadon then grabbed his keys, attempting to leave.
