Page 44 of Spirit Rites
Jespar and I are out hunting, but I’m not so far as to not be available if you need me.
A warm feeling fills my chest.I’m good. Thank you.
Why are you sad?
I pause a moment, wondering what to say.I’m fine.
It’s a human thing then?
I smile in spite of myself.Yeah. I guess so.
I will return in a little while.
Take your time; I’m fine.
She says nothing more, but I feel much better after connecting with her. “How’s the jag?” Harper asks. I look over at her in surprise. “It’s the eyes,” she says, motioning to my face. “Your face does this thing, and your eyes glaze over.”
I frown. “That sounds terrible.”
“Farrah’s worse; she looks constipated when she does it.”
I can’t help my laugh. “Did you tell her that?”
She gives me a look. “Of course I did; but she still does it.”
“I’ll have to watch for it next time...” My words trail off, and that feeling fills me once again.
Harper, who never misses a thing, sits down in the chair across from me. “You don’t have to stay here, you know.”
“I gave my word that I’d come,” I remind her.
“And you did.” She shrugs. “You kept your word and came. If you don’t want to stay, you don’t have to.” She meets my eyes directly. “No matter what anybody says.”
“Thanks, Harper.” I study her a moment.
“What?” she asks with a scowl. “Why are you staring at me?”
I let her snippiness roll right off me. “You’re a really good friend, Harper.” Her scowl deepens, but I don’t let it deter me. “I know I don’t say it enough—”
“You don’t need to say it at all,” she interrupts.
“But I really appreciate your friendship,” I continue as if she’d never interrupted. “And it means the world that you came here with me. If at any time you don’t want to stay—”
“Kins, stop. I’m not leaving you here by yourself.”
Something like relief fills me, even as guilt floods me. “But you have a life too, Harper—”
She snorts. “Right. Back with the disgustingly in love couple we just left, or with the banished that are trying to find their way now in the kingdom?”
“You could find a place to live and—”
“Leave it. I made my choice when I came here with you. Don’t make me regret it.” With that, she gets up out of her chair and walks over to one of the open windows.
I don’t let her abruptness bother me. It’s just how she is, and yet, I feel her friendship and love now more than ever. Gratitude swells in my heart; I’m so glad she’s here with me. But that sadfeeling that’s been plaguing me surrounds me now. The ache in my chest that eased when I talked with Veyra suddenly comes back, and it hurts so much I rub at it. It’s almost like a physical pain, but at the same time, I feel so sad, it feels like my heart is breaking. I don’t know why it’s like this.
“Kins, what’s wrong?” Harper drops to her knees in front of me and eyes me warily. “Are you having a heart attack?” A tear drips down my cheek, and she flinches back in revulsion. “You’re crying?” I want to make a joke, but it hurts too bad. I feel this intense sadness, and it hurts to breathe.
I’m coming.
