Page 77 of Spirit Rites
Zarreth steps into the hallway with us. “Any word?”
Jorren shakes his head. “We won’t give up looking.”
I see movement out of the corner of my eye and turn. Relief courses through me at the sight of Taren. I’m moving before I think about it. “Taren!”
I stop only a little bit from him. “You’re okay.”
“I’m okay.” He’s limping, and I’m pretty sure he’s injured a rib from the way he’s breathing. But he’s standing here, alive; I’ll take it.
Jorren’s there a minute later. He hits Taren on the back, and I wince at the sound of it. “Glad you’re okay.”
“Taren.” He faces me. He looks so haggard, I almost don’t ask. But I have to. “Kaldar?” There’s so much hope in that word, and I can’t say anything more. It’s like the words won’t form.
He glances at Jorren and then takes a step towards me. He puts his hands on my shoulders. When his gaze meets mine, I panic at the haunted look in his eyes. “The last I saw of him, a guivre was carrying him off. I tried to get to him and couldn’t.”
I stare at him in horror. “What?”
“We won’t give up until we find him.” There is no emotion in his voice, and I don’t know what to say. I’ve never felt this helpless.
“What can I do?”
“Nothing. Let us look for him.”
“I want to help.”
Taren’s already shaking his head before I get the words out. “The best way you can help now is to stay safe.” His somber eyes meet mine. “Like it or not, you are now the ruling leader.”
I shake my head. “Why? Why did he do that? I don’t know anything about being a queen. I barely know anything about this kingdom.”
“Stop.” Taren’s voice is low and soft. “You listen to me, Kinsley. Kaldar is my best friend and the closest thing to a brother I have. I trust him with my life, and I trust his decisions and his wisdom. Always. He chose you to lead. He knew you could do it, and he knew what he was doing.”
I shake my head. “I can’t—”
“Stop.” His voice is harsh, and it shocks me into silence. Taren is never harsh with me. “Listen to me. Kaldar gave everything for you.” His words reverberate through me. “That challenge?”
“Taren, stop.” Jorren’s words don’t have any effect on Taren.
“It was meant for you,” Taren continues.
I stare at him in shock. “Taren, stop,” Jorren says again.
“Vaelor called for the Reckoning. It’s rarely called for, but it’s a challenge that’s called if somebody feels like the Rites and Jade Ceremony weren’t enough, and they want to challenge. Only a person in authority can call for the Reckoning. Kaldar chose to take your place.” Taren takes a breath and lowers his voice. “He gave up his crown, and he might have given his life.For you. So that you could live.”
I can’t take this in; it’s too much. “I didn’t ask him to do that! I didn’t know! I...I...why did he do that?”
He lets out a breath, and I watch as he deflates. “Because he loves you.”
The tears come then. I try to stop them, but they keep coming. A sob rips through my chest. “I didn’t want him to. I didn’t know. I...just...” He closes his eyes and then he stepsforward and pulls me against his chest. Grief crashes through me, and I can’t catch my breath. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper through my tears. “I should have never come here.” My chest hurts so badly. I don’t want this pain.
“Shh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. It’s okay.” Taren’s words bring me no comfort. I can’t stop my sobs; I feel like I’m breaking apart. The stress of everything comes crashing down, and I feel like it’s a tidal wave of emotion that’s going to take me away. Taren doesn’t say anything more; he just lets me cry against his chest. I only let myself cry for a little bit because I can’t get his words from my mind. I take a deep breath and force myself to get control. I finally step back. I wipe my eyes and look between Jorren and Taren. “What do you need from me?”
Taren puts his hands on my shoulders. “Right now, we need you to stay safe. And then, we need you to be who you are now.” He stares into my eyes. “And that’s Queen. Now, maybe that will change; but it might not.” I bite my lip, refusing to let any emotion show. I already fell apart. Now, I have to try to find my footing in this world that has gone so completely wrong so fast.
I take a deep breath. “Okay.” I don’t say anything else; there’s nothing else I can say. I look at Jorren and then back at Taren. “But please don’t let them give up on looking for him.”
Jorren’s heavy gaze meets mine. “Kaldar was my king, and he always will be. But he was also my friend. We will find him and bring him home.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
