Page 60 of Night So Silent
But aren’t we used to psychos, blood, and being cold around here?
In any event, it’s not a secret. Everyone knows what happened to Caleb; Brett, Colson, Alex, Dallas, Katie back home, the city of Columbus, the entire Gunnison law enforcement community…
I’ll tell my family what happened after I get home—maybe. That is, if they haven’t already heard some version from the news, social media, or the parents of some rando person I went to high school with whom my mom is still friends.
Oh, yeah…home.
I’m trying to relax and bask in this moment, drinking delicious coffee drinks with Sergei inside this perfect snow globe. But I’m on edge, acutely aware that my flight leaves in a matter of hours—the one that Ifinallybooked at the last minute on the last plane arriving in Columbus before midnight. And I’m dreading it.
I’ve flown into that airport countless times. But tonight will be different. It will be cold, and dark, and probably raining. It will be late, too late for attending Christmas Eve festivities. I’ll grab a ride share home, walk into my dark and empty house, and listlessly get ready for bed and go to sleep just so I can pass the time until tomorrow morning when I drive to my parents’ house to finally see everyone.
But not everyone will be there.
A lump begins growing in my throat. Why does this feel so final? It’s not, is it?
I should be looking forward to seeing my family; my mom wrapping too many gifts and preparing more cheese balls than any family of four could ever possibly consume, my dad roasting his famous Christmas prime rib, Clay taking shots withwhichever one of his rogue friends he decides to drag home with him. It’s everything that I love and expect Christmas to be. Except, now…
I turn to the window as my chin starts to tremble.
Don’t start crying,I tell myself as I drag my thumb across the underside of my eye. But the tears begin to well and only keep coming. At the same moment, Sergei comes walking back across the living room.
“Barrett,” he stops in the middle of the rug, furrowing his brow, “what’s wrong?”
“I’m just feeling a lot of emotions right now!” It comes out like a broken whine as tears stream down my face. “I love Christmas. It’s my favorite time of the year and my family is nuts, but I love spending Christmas with them even if it’s an absolute zoo. But now that I’mhere—” I wave my arm around, gesturing to Sergei’s house that still looks like it was ordered straight out of IKEA or Nordic Nest. “It’s like this is where I’m meant to be.”
Like a snake charmer approaches a cobra, Sergei gently takes a seat on the edge of the sofa by my legs and sets my replenished mug down on the table. I suck in a sniffly breath, determined to continue.
“Because even though there’s nothing Christmas-y about this place, it stillfeelslike Christmas.Youfeel like Christmas, even with your all-black wardrobe, combat boots, and bow and arrow you shot someone with on your front lawn.” Then I think better of it and wave my hand dismissively. “You know what, let’s not even talk about that because I still need time to process properly. Anyway, now that I’mhere, I feel guilty because I’d ratherstayhere with you, even if you don’t have a Christmas tree or decorations or evenlikeChristmas! And I wouldn’t tell you to be quiet or else you’ll wake up baby Jesus—unless you want to be quiet. I’m pretty sure that’s just how you are, andI love that about you. It makes me feel calm and safe and you don’t foist unrealistic expectations on me. But no offense to your mom, I’m sure she’s a lovely person. The whole stabbing thing was a long time ago, and totally justified!”
Sergei stares back at me, long enough to make me wonder if I’ve finally succeeded in freaking him out. If so, I need some kind of award. A medal, at least. On the other hand, maybe my long-winded speech was for naught and he’ll just toss me out into the snow in frustration and save me the internal turmoil. But, soon, a grin spreads across his face, wider than I’ve ever seen.
He starts laughing. And I’m shocked to see that he has dimples and I can’t believe how white his teeth are in the daylight. As if he could be any more beautiful. But I’m in the middle of a balsam and holiday spice-fueled mental breakdown and this is no time to ogle Sergei’s stunning features that would otherwise make me melt.
“Why are you laughing at me?” I wail, dragging my hands across my cheeks and sucking a wad of snot down my throat.
Sergei purses his lips, composing himself as I stare back at him with flushed cheeks and puffy eyes. Then he reaches for my arms and pulls me to him, all the way into his lap, cradling me in his massive arms. He runs his calloused fingers over my cheek and into my hair line, bowing his forehead and gently pressing it to mine.
“I would never pressure you to stay, nor keep you from your family.”
But I can’t stand him being logical and reasonable and considerate right now.
“What if Iwantyou to?” I press. “What if I want you to tell me not to go?”
Sergei gazes down at me with another one of his expressions that I can’t read. But now it’s not as fun. Now, I’m searching hisface for any inkling that he feels the same way—that he feels the same waytoday.
Finally, he opens his mouth to speak. But before he can, a jarring buzz startles me out of my tailspin. My phone is ringing, vibrating across the table like an angry hornet.
God, what now?
I swing my arm out and grab it, tilting it up to look at the screen. I blink in shock, recognizing the name immediately, but unsure of why I’m seeing it.
“I…um…” I pull myself upright on Sergei’s lap, disoriented and confused.
“Take it,” he says, helping me to my feet.
He settles back onto the sofa as I slowly wander toward the window. It would probably do me some good to pace, walk around the room to try and exorcise these demons falling out everywhere trying to sow seeds of emotional chaos. Once I reach the far windows in the dining room, I finally answer the call.
“Dr. Holiday—Holloway!”
