Page 51 of Can't Refuse Him
Chase Von' Chasin' Johnson
Bro, pumping iron as a vampire is difficult. Not impossible, but you've gotta adjust. Like, first off, I can’t go to the gym during the daylight hours anymore, unless I want to crisp up like a rotisserie chicken. Second? Apparently, a deep underground conspiracy aims to eliminate vampire bodybuilders, and they lace most protein powders with garlic powder.
What the fuck, right?
Humans are so petty. I’ve been a Fanger for six months, and I have absolutely seen the other side of how things are for us Vamps. Living was not only a chore, and most places were closed at night unless vampires ran them, but we also needed to find blood to quench our thirst.
Companies have tried to market synthetic blood, but not a single vamp would drink it. Unless they were Fegan—a Fanger Vegan. It became more of a derogatory term, and sorry to the Fegans, but I need to drink blood supplied from the source. Direct from the neck is most desirable, but trying to find ahuman who will offer their blood is like trying to find a job as a vampire.
Vampires going public meant that other supernaturals and not-supernaturals expected us to continue living with humans.Witches, Bin-Spirits, Shiftersand evenRock Band Demon Hunterscould go about their lives as per normal as if the entire supernatural world didn’t just crack open.
I was in the middle of a DIY deadlift session in my apartment, using cinder blocks and a witch's broom I snagged from downstairs, squeezing my solid marble ass tight each bend, when the email I had been waiting for came in. My phone pinged on my blood-stained couch. Don’t stress; the blood was from weeks ago during aBF party.
They called it bare fang as if we had tooth condoms for protection and chose not to wear them for the thrill, but it meant that we were siphoning blood directly from someone’s neck. Of course, the people involved always give consent. I hated the taste of blood without consent.
Becoming a Fanger didn’t improve my eyesight, sadly. It made me incredibly horny, almost frenzied, after a workout sesh, but the only other thing difficult to do as a vampire besides pumping iron is getting an erection naturally without the blood of our prospective sexual partner given willingly. I sighed, dropped my weights, which bounced with a loud clang, and I wiped my hands on the shirt I hung over a chair, then squinted at my screen.
Dear Mr Chase Johnson,
Welcome toVAMP-LINKSupernatural Employment Services.
Your placement has been assessed, and you have been successful in securing a role within Graves & Pennington Accounting as: Assistant Accountant
Report to Mr Miles Penrose, Senior Accountant.
Time:8:30 PM sharp. DO NOT BE LATE. BRING ID, FANG REGISTRY CERTIFICATE AND YOUR THIRST FOR SUCCESS.
(Note: thirst is metaphorical. Do not bite your manager.)
I quickly got changed, no need to shower as vampires didn’t have active sweat glands or body odour, and headed there. I had a few hours until 8:30, so walked my way there. And the sun was down. It wasn’t often I could enjoy walking inconspicuously.
Night time was our time as vamps. I never felt safer.
This would be my first job since, well…being bitten at the Nocturnal Gym. When I signed up, I didn’t read the fine print. I apparently waived my right of consent. Being a human working out in a Fanger gym, I was fresh for the feasting.
But it wasn’t my fault I joined a Fanger Gym; I have always been a night owl, and this was the best of both worlds. I barely made it through my first gym sesh, spotting a bulky muscle god of a man when I felt something on my neck. The asshole bit me. Took my blood and put his venom in me, against my wishes. I am just thankful I could keep my agency. Most newborn vamps must bend themselves to the will of their changers, the vampires who infect their victims with vampirism, but the form I signed allowed me to keep my own wits.
Since then, I have had an insatiable lust for blood and bulking up. I’ve always been gay. Becoming a Vamp has only made me appreciate the male form even more.
I was attempting to keep my cool as I finished checking over the email. My heart, well it would if it still beat without feasting on blood, fell through my ass as I saw the words I didn’t originally see in the email. There in the email the words‘BUSINESS CASUAL’revealed themselves. As if they were taped off like a crime scene, with flashing lights and two police officers on either side directing my eyes to ‘move along’.
I was dressed in grey sweatpants, which revealed everything, a black tank that read “Fanger Pride”, a backwards cap and, to top it all off, ‘New Balances’.
Yes. This vampire wears dad sneakers. I liked comfort. I liked good arch support. And they were squeaking against the tiled floor, practically announcing my anxiety to the receptionist. She looked up, and she gave me a disgruntled look, like I had just interrupted her performing a séance.
“Ah!” She smirked. She had long brown hair and a look that made me feel she could see ghosts hanging around me. “You’re the new Vamp-link hire. Mr Johnson”
“That’s me.”
She was looking me up and down. “Interesting attire. Guess business casual means something different for vampires.”
“I didn’t see it in the email until I walked in.”
“Try to wear a business shirt and chinos next time, here.” She handed me a card in a plastic sleeve. “This is your pass into the Accounting office; don’t mind the janitor; he will just tend to the floors and clean out the bins at his own leisure.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Okay then.”
“Head on through the lifts and go to level four. Mr Penrose awaits you.”
